It was always you
by ilovemyself26
Summary: Rachel is a Broadway star.. When she thought that everything was going well in her life she meets Quinn and then she gets confused.. More than ever..
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys.. This is my first Glee story.. I don't know if you like or not but i had this story in mind so i thought of giving it a try.. Usually i write South of Nowhere.. So here we are.. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**Rachel's POV**

Camera.. Lights.. Set.. Go.. Four words that I listen to pretty much every day.. Words I dreamed to hear but now I want to forget..

Since the day I remember myself I wanted to become a Broadway star.. For people to cry my name, Rachel Berry.. To sign autographs, to be someone, to leave my town.. Lima.. I haven't been there for years now.. The day I finished high school and got accepted in Julliard I knew that it would be my last time there..

I don't remember one good thing from high school.. No.. Everyone was so mean.. I got treated like dirt.. They were pushing me to walls, they were throwing slushies at me, I was bullied and I had no friends.. So my need to leave from that place was beyond me.. I wanted a new start.. I wanted to forget.. And that I did..

Coming here in New York I promised myself that the person I used to be it would be forgotten.. I would be a new Rachel.. And I became.. I became someone they were jealous off, I became the bitch of Julliard, I became the first they gave her a leading role while still in college.. Yes, the old Rachel wasn't there.. And I liked it..

Did I care I didn't have any friends? No.. Who cares? I was doing the one thing I loved.. I was famous.. I could have what I wanted.. Anyone and anything I wanted.. No one could say no to me.. 'Here Ms Berry, we have a table set for you', 'Here Ms Berry, we would like for you to have this as a gift'.. Ms Berry this, Ms Berry that.. Yes, I was living my dream..

At the age of twenty six I managed to gain wealth, to become famous, to win three Grammys, and to be completely alone..

At the beginning I didn't care.. It didn't matter to me to whose body I would step in, what I would do in order to have the leading role or the fact that people not only were jealous of me but they hated my guts.. And now, being at the age of twenty eight it really hurt.. It would hurt me when I would listen people talking behind my back, it would hurt when I would walk alone on the street looking at girls having fun with their girlfriends.. Everything now seemed without any meaning..

It was another day at the theatre.. Two plays per day.. One at 3pm and one 9pm.. Every day till Sunday.. No time for myself, being always here.. That's what I wanted though and I needed to act as a professional..

I was sitting alone at the stage looking at the people I worked with every day for hours.. I realized that I didn't know who they were.. I didn't even got to know their names.. I didn't even bother to know them.. And they were all sitting and talking to each other having fun..

"Rachel? Why are you sitting alone here?"

"Eh?"

"I said, why are you sitting all alone here.. Come join us.." this blond girl who was talking to me was sweet and one of the best dancers we had.. She wasn't an actor but she was here to dance.. But I didn't know her name.. And how can you really ask someone their name when you work with them 10 hours per day.. You are supposed to know..

"I am ok.. I was just resting.. I need to go somewhere anyway"

"As you wish.."

"_Britney.. Come over here"_ I heard someone calling her name.. Britney.. I had to remember..

"Bye Rachel"

I didn't say anything back to her.. She caught me of guard.. No one usually talks to me or asking me to join them.. But this girl did.. I am sure the others called her crazy for even talking to me..

I got up from where I was sitting and went backstage looking for my bag.. Searching for my keys I heard my phone.. It was James.. My manager..

"Hello"

"Rachel.. I have been calling you for hours.. Where were you?"

"Rehearsing James.. Where else?"

"Ok, now listen to me.. Tonight there is that gala we discussed a month ago that you should go.. Bring Tony with you.."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, they have to see you with him.. You are dating him.."

"Yeah, how can I forget.. You remind me every day.."

"Rachel.. Listen to me.. You need Tony right next to you as he needs you right next to him.. This is what show business is all about.."

"Whatever.. What time am I supposed to be there?"

"At 8pm.. But I want you to be there at 7pm for the photographers to take pictures of you both.. Ok?"

"Ok.. I'll call him and tell him all about it.."

"I already did.. He will come by your apartment at 6.30 to get you.. Talk to you later"

Tony was an actor and new to this show business.. He played to a couple of films and he wanted his name to be out and what better than to be seen with me.. The Rachel Berry.. He was nice but so full of himself.. 6 foot 5, blond with blue eyes, body to die for and he knew it.. He knew that girls adored him, he knew he was beautiful and as for an actor.. Yeah.. I won't even go there.. He was all about the outside..

And as for me.. I don't even remember when was my last relationship.. Between Julliard and Broadway I don't think I had time to find someone.. I only had fun.. It sounds bad but this is the truth.. Never cared for anyone's feelings.. I had an itch that needed to be scratched and that was it.. My last relationship was in high school with Finn Hudson.. Yeah, although my life sucked in high school this guy managed not only to be kind to me but to actually have a relationship with me.. But I broke up with him because I wanted a new life and he wasn't in my plans..

I wanted this day to be over.. I wanted to go to this stupid gala with Tony and get over with it.. Take the pictures, smile like everything is perfect, pretend that I am in love and go home..

I was ready at 6.25 sharp.. And like James said Tony was here at 6.30pm.. I took one last look on the mirror, took my keys and went downstairs to my 'boyfriend'..

He was waiting for me outside the car wearing a nice tuxedo.. His hair looked perfect and he gave me one of his well known smiles.. The Hollywood smile..

"Good afternoon Rachel.."

"Hello Tony.."

"You look beautiful tonight.."

"You don't look bad yourself either"

"Well.. Thank you very much"

He opened the door for me to get in and once I was sitting he closed the door and found his place right next to me..

"How was the rehearsal today?"

"Like usual.. It was tough but nothing that I am not used to"

"Good to hear.. Do you know what kind of a gala is this? James didn't tell me.."

"It's about actors donating money for the starving kids in Africa"

Once we were there and the driver opened the door for us to go out all the lights from the cameras were on us.. I held Tony's arm and I was smiling to each and everyone of them..

"_Rachel, how's the new play?"_

"Everything is going fine.. In a few days the theatre will be open"

"_Rachel, there were rumors that you and Tony broke up"_

"We are here together.. Aren't we? So no.. We didn't"

Questions after questions, answering and smiling back and forth.. Some of them were directed to me and some others to Tony.. After a couple of minutes we managed to get inside.. Tony always by my side because that's what we were supposed to do.. We talked to a couple of people, we donated our money and when the watch showed 1am it was our due to leave.. Again with all the flashes in our eyes, more questions about the night and the need I had to leave was getting into me more and more..

We arrived at my home half an hour later with me being quite drunk.. They say that you drink to forget.. And that's what I was doing..

"Goodnight Rachel.."

"Goodnight Tony.."

I didn't drink too much but it was enough to know that I was drunk.. The right thing would be for me to go inside my house.. But no.. I didn't want to.. I wanted to continue drinking.. Because it felt so good.. I walked to the nearest bar and got inside.. I was living in the area for three years now but I never got outside to know my surroundings..

Once I found myself sitting at the bar ordering a drink I realized that the bar was a strip club and not a bar as I thought it was.. But I didn't leave.. I didn't leave for two reasons.. First I was so drunk that any move I was making made me sick and second I already ordered my drink and that's what I wanted the most.. It was a strip club after all.. I could enjoy what they had to offer..

"Lady, I think you should stop drinking.. You already had enough"

"I.. am ok.. No need to worry"

"I am not serving you another drink.."

"Ooooook.. Don't.. I am going to take my water then and sit over there.."

Indeed I found an empty table next to the stage.. With my water in my hands I was trying to pay attention to what was going on around me.. Men were whistling for the girls who were dancing and I really felt bad for those girls.. I decided not to look at them.. I decided that my water was what I would look at.. But then I heard them whistling again and yelling a girl's name..

"_Woooo.. Quinn… Shake it baby.." _

"_Dance for me sexy.."_

When she got out the men went crazy.. Madonna's song Justify my love was playing and although I haven't looked at any of the girls while I was there I looked at her.. She had shoulder length blond hair.. Thin but had curves to the right places.. She was wearing black underwear with high heel red peep toes that were matching her red lip stick.. No wonder the men were going crazy..

"_I am in looooooooove with you Quinn"_

And I want to blame it to the alcohol that was running through my blood but this girl, Quinn, was looking at me.. Straight in my eyes.. She was dancing, lifting her body to the pole and having her eyes on me while men were screaming her name.. Yes.. It was the alcohol.. It was the alcohol because I was looking at her and I couldn't realize why.. Why I was looking at her and I wanted to scream her name like all these men did the same?

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I woke up the next day in my bed without remembering how I got there.. Everything was a blur in my mind.. Last thing I remembered was me drinking at that bar.. What happened last night?

I tried to get up from my bed but my head was killing me.. How much did i drink yesterday? I walked in my bathroom touching the wall to support myself and took a long shower.. I was there for more than fifteen minutes letting the water wash everything.. I tried to bring back memories from the gala to that bar but I couldn't.. I had only pictures in my mind that I couldn't put my hand on..

Walking back to my bed trying to find something to wear i realized that it was past 11 and I had to go to the rehearsal.. I was already late two hours and I had 10 missed calls..

When I arrived at the theatre everyone was waiting for me.. While I was coming closer to the stage I heard some of them talking. _'the star came' '11 people waiting for her' 'I really dislike that bitch'_..

"I am sorry I am late" I told to Mickey, our director.. He was nice to me but I don't think it was because he liked me but because I was who I was..

"Rachel let's start please.. We open in four days.. Everyone take your places"

We practiced our lines over and over again till we were ready to collapse.. Mickey was pissed because I was late in the morning and he was pushing us to our limits.. He was one of the best Broadway directors and his reputation was more than anything..

We were taking a five minute break when one of my co actors came on to me and pretty much pushed me down..

"What the hell.. What are you doing?"

"Sorry.. My mistake.. I didn't see you.."

"I am sitting right here.. How's possible not to see me?"

"Because I don't see fucking bitches like you who think they own the world.."

"What's your problem anyway?"

"My problem is you Berry.. I don't like your attitude" I stood up from where I was sitting ready to say something but I was stopped from that blond girl Britney..

"Santana stop.. There is no reason to start a fight.. You too Rachel.." I was still looking at that bitch who now I knew her name, Santana.. She was the one who usually would say things about me..

"You are lucky Berry.. Next time you won't be" she said and left me and Britney there..

"Santana is not a bad person.. She is just angry"

"I realized that.. What is her problem?"

"I don't know.. You have to ask her" She said and left me speechless.. Didn't she saw us pretty much ready to kill each other?

We finished finally after 12 hours and we were ready to leave when I got a phone call from Tony.. He was telling me that we had to go out again tonight because of his new movie.. We had to be seen on the red carpet, smile to everyone and pretend.. Nothing new..

Once I was home I took a hot shower wore my nice dress and waited for him to come and pick me up.. It would be another boring thing I had to attend..

His new movie was boring me to death.. It was an action movie, those that girls dislike and men love.. And i was sitting there trying not to sleep.. When i turned my head to look at him he was mouthing his own words from the movie.. Stupid much?

When finally this boring movie ended we went to the after party to celebrate.. What they wanted to celebrate I didn't know.. Of course after we smiled to all the photographers and kissed in front of them he left me to go talk with the producers and the actors.. I from the other hand I found the bar where i tried to drown my boredom..

"You are Rachel Berry"

"Yes, that would be me"

"I am such a big fan of yours Ms Berry.. I saw all your plays and movies.. You are amazing"

"Thank you very much"

I always loved my fans.. Those were the ones who really loved me.. They weren't jealous of me.. They didn't hate my guts.. I always loved to sign autographs and smile to them.. It wasn't something that I was doing because I had to but because I liked..

"Can I take a picture with you Ms Berry?"

"Of course"

I realized that there were two Rachel Berry.. The one who was the big star, the snob, the one who like Santana said owned the world and there was the other Rachel Berry, the girl from Lima, who was sweet and had big dreams, the girl who smiled to her fans and was taking pictures with them.. How could these two people co exist in the same body? They couldn't.. And that's why I was lost..

"Babe, are you ready to go?" Tony came from behind me and interrupted my thoughts..

"Yes"

The ride back home Tony was talking about how good he was in the movie, how good his hair looked, how the girls would go crazy about him when they would see him how fit he was and all I could think off was why he couldn't shut up..

When we arrived at my apartment he tried to kiss me but I turned my head.. He wasn't my boyfriend.. He was only someone I had to be seen with..

"Rachel, come on.. We are already together in the media.. Why not be together official?"

"Tony, you are drunk.. Go home"

"No I am not.. I am good.."

"How many fingers I am showing you?"

"Easy.. Eight.. See? I am oooook" he said and tried to grab my hand..

"Only that I was showing you four.. Take him please back to his apartment and if you could help him till he is inside I would be grateful sir.." I said to the driver and walked out the car closing the door behind me..

Tonight I wasn't drunk.. At least not as much as I was the night before. But I wanted to go to that bar I went yesterday.. Maybe someone could help me remember what I did and how I found myself waking up in my own bed..

Once I was outside I stopped to the sign.. It said 'Candy shop'.. Kind of strange name for a bar.. But when I stepped inside i realized it wasn't a bar.. It was a strip club.. Girls were slow dancing on the stage touching each other and men whistling and calling, I suppose, their names..

"Hello again.. I see you liked what you saw yesterday"

"Excuse me?"

"You are that girl from yesterday night.. You drunk pretty much a whole bottle of whisky"

"I am sorry but I don't remember.. I did?"

"You were really drunk lady.."

"I remember coming in here but I don't remember anything else.. How did I get to my apartment if I was so drunk?"

"That I don't know.. What can I get you?"

"A glass of wine please.."

I couldn't believe that I would come in a place like that and how on earth there was a strip club in this area? I sat at the bar with my back on the stage and I turned only when I heard a familiar name.. Quinn..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

When I heard her name I turned my back and I was now facing the woman that all the men in here were exited for.. And while looking at her I understood why.. She was dancing like a goddess.. It was like she was flying on that stage.. It wasn't anything dirty.. She was simply dancing.. What I realized by watching her and the men was that although we were in a strip club, although of course there were women that were stripping, and I saw a couple of men putting dollars on their panties, while Quinn was dancing they weren't doing anything.. They were just looking and I did the same..

"Beautiful, isn't she?" the bartender said but I couldn't hear him very well..

"What did you say?"

"Quinn.. The girl up there.. Beautiful.."

"She is, yeah.." I said and I took a sip of my wine

"They come from all the near cities for her you know.. She is the star in here.."

The club was packed.. I realized that when I got inside but I didn't know they were coming for her..

"But she only dances.."

"Yeap.. That's Quinn.. She was upforward from the beginning.. She wouldn't do anything with any client and she didn't want to be treated like she is a whore.. And of course as you can see even pretty much all the men in here would like to have a private dance she is only dancing and they are happy to see her.."

"She is really good with what she is doing.."

"I never saw you in here before.. We have some women that coming every now and then but I haven't seen you before.."

"Yeah, ehm.. I am new.. I don't usually go to this kind of clubs.."

"So it seems.. Another glass of wine?"

"No, I am good.. I don't want to get drunk like yesterday.."

"If you change your mind I'll be here.."

"Thank you"

And when he left I found myself walking to a table nearby with the glass of wine with me of course looking at her like all those men.. It was kind of hard not to when her body was like art.. Like those incredible paintings we see in museums..

I couldn't help but wonder if she was looking at me when she was looking to where I was sitting.. I caught her looking a couple of times and some of them she was even smiling.. I turned my face to see if there were people behind me and sure they were.. Of course she wasn't looking at me..

When she finished her program I left too.. I tried to pay for my drink but the guy at the bar didn't let me.. He said next time that I would come.. But would I come back really? And how he was so sure that I would? I didn't think more about it.. I just grabbed my handbag and opened the door to the outside world, where there was no Quinn dancing all sexy and no men screaming her name..

I walked to my apartment and what I liked in New York all these years that I was living here was that this city never sleeps.. Even if it was almost 3am in the morning you could see people coming outside clubs, taxis all over, couples holding hands.. Everyone was out and was having fun.. And when I got inside my apartment it was me again.. Me, myself and I.. I took a shower, wore my pjs and slept till 7am..

Tomorrow was another day in my life.. The life of Rachel Berry.. I had to give an interview in the morning and then I had rehearsal.. In two days the theatre would open and I couldn't wait..

I would meet with someone from Elle magazine to a nearby coffee shop.. It wasn't that packed and it was away from all the New York scene.. I knew it because most of the times I would go there and relax.. Especially when I wanted to be alone.. Indeed the guy I was supposed to meet was there waiting for me when I arrived at 8am sharp..

"Goodmorning Ms Berry"

"Goodmorning to you too Mr Field" We shook hands and I went to sit but he took the chair out for me to sit and then he sat on the other side.. What a gentleman..

"How are you this morning?"

"It's still too early to say but I am good.."

"Would you like for us to order something?"

"I want a black coffee with no cream"

"I'll be right back.."

He went to the cashier and order our coffees.. While he was there I kept looking outside the window.. This coffee shop wasn't away from where I was living but yet it wasn't close either.. This area had something I liked..

"Here is your coffee Ms Berry"

"Thank you very much"

"So what do you say if we start?" I gave him my best smile and nodded..

"Ms Berry, you are one of the few women of your age who accomplished all these things. Tony awards, nominations, movies, theatre.. How do you feel about it?"

"I can't exactly tell you that I feel good, or that I feel amazing or bad or anything of the above.. I always wanted to be a Broadway actor and singer.. It was my dream.. I was lucky enough to have a job that I really like.. Now as for my Tony Awards, I just feel really proud that those amazing people saw something in me.."

He asked me question after question.. About me being a broadway star to my teen years.. Of course like any other person in his place he kept the best for the end..

"How can you manage your personal life with your working schedule? Isn't Tony jealous of not spending enough time with him?"

"Tony is an actor as well and he can understand.. Today it's me tomorrow it will be him"

"Is it easy though?"

"Easy for whom?"

"You are both young but yet you are spending time apart.. If I had to ask which one you would prefer, love or work, what would you choose?"

"Work of course.. Because as you said, I am still young and I want to be as better as I can be.." and I meant every word.. It's not that me and Tony were together or that I was in love with him..

"Thank you Ms Berry for your time.. Your interview will be in the next issue of Elle magazine.."

When he left I sat there for a couple of minutes thinking all the questions and answers that were given.. I tried to be true and not fake.. I tried for once to sound as a normal person and not like a star.. I think that this interview went well but I was curious to read the interview.. Last week I was being photographed for that issue.. I would be in the cover as well..

While I was putting my coat I saw a blond walking by outside the coffee shop but in the opposite street.. At first I thought it was Quinn but I refused to think that every blond I would look would be her.. I have done that already two times till I get here.. So I didn't pay myself any mind..

But when I went outside and looked on the opposite street it was her.. And she was buying a magazine from the kiosk.. I think that she looked even more beautiful than last night.. She turned her face, looked at me and smiled.. But I didn't return the smile back.. Instead I turned my head and walked away..

What was happening with me?

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The last two days all I did was to pretty much be at the theater from morning till late at night.. It's not that I was new to this business.. If anything I was made to do this.. But as a professional I am I wanted to make everything perfect.. I wanted the people who would come and see me, see our play to be satisfied..

Funny Girl was my all time favorite movie and musical.. I didn't even have to read the lines because i already knew them by heart.. But my anxiety was of the fact that I would play the role of Fanny Brice, a role that was played from the one and only Barbara Streisand.. A person who was nominated for 41 music awards and won 15 of them together with two special awards for Grammy legend and Grammy lifetime achievement.. So in my so far career I had to at least be close to that perfection of hers..

Someone can say that after the movies and all the plays i played I shouldn't feel like that.. Anxious, having the feeling that I was losing the earth under my feet but I did.. When I would start a new play I was feeling my heart beating so fast that I thought it would break.. And today wasn't any different..

"Rachel are you ready?" I heard Britanny asking me but I don't know if I was.. Instead I nodded and got up from my seat..

"Ready"

From the cast of the play I only talked with Britanny.. This amazing dancer that sometimes I felt terrible to believe that all jokes about blondes were made for her.. She would ask questions out of nowhere while all of us would look at her trying to understand.. But of course none of us was saying anything because Santana, the bull dog as I call her, would come for her rescue.. If anything I believe that the only person Santana didn't fight with was Britanny..

Walking to the stage I knew that that was it.. The curtains opened and the play begun..

The theatre was packed.. When the lights lighted up the feeling I had disappeared.. All my fears, all my anxiety was gone.. It was me and the stage.. And by the end of the play the applaud from the people inside made me smile.. All the time we spent, the long hours of rehearsing worth every minute..

When the curtains closed everyone was smiling, hugging each other, congratulating our director and our director in his turn was congratulating us.. Since I was the least likable person here I had only Britanny and my director telling me how great I was..

When all the cast was arranging to go out for a drink I was left out.. Did it hurt? It did.. But I had to come in terms with that and my past behaviour that I was known off.. If only they could see that I wasn't the same Rachel Berry i used to be..

It was past 11pm when I finished dressing back to my clothes and taking my bag to leave when I was stopped from Britanny to tell me that she tried to convince everyone for me to come but no one wanted me there..

"It's ok.. Don't worry about it.. Thanks for trying though"

"Have a goodnight Rachel.. You were really amazing.. See you tomorrow" she gave me a hug and went

to find the others..

When I got out I felt the cold breeze on my face and I closed my eyes taking it all in.. It wasn't cold yet considering it was October but you could feel the change in the weather..

"You were amazing" I opened my eyes and turned my face to look at whose that sweet voice was.. And when I did I came face to face with blue eyes, golden long hair and a smile who could warm anyone's heart.. It was her.. Quinn

"Thank you very much" I was cold in my feet.. I didn't know what to say to this girl.. A girl I knew where she was working, a girl I dreamed a couple of times during my night sleep, a girl who was confusing me and I didn't even understand why.. Instead I walked away but inside I knew I wanted to stay..

I didn't hear her coming after me although I was hoping she would.. And how she knew where to find me.. And did she really know who I was from the beginning? What if she told someone that I was in a strip club twice? What that would do to my reputation especially now that it was only the first day of our play.. No.. I wouldn't see her again, I wouldn't go to that club again and surely I would forget her bluish eyes that already were hunting me..

When I went home i found a bouquet outside my door with my favorite flowers.. Lilies.. There was a card from my parents.. The parents I haven't talked to the last couple of years but yet they didn't forget my first day.. I picked the bouquet up and silently i cried.. I cried for all the things I did, for the person I was, the way I treated everyone.. So when I went inside I made that call in Lima.. It was a number I couldn't forget as much as i tried..

"Hello.." a sleepy voice answered the phone and I knew who of my fathers was..

"Hey daddy.. It's me.."

"Rachel?"

"Unless you have another daughter" I said between sobs and smiling..

"No.. Only one princess.. You"

"I got the flowers.. Thank you.. Is dad asleep?"

"He woke up when I said Rachel.. So he is right next to me.. Want to talk to him?"

"Yes please.."

"Rachel honey.. Are you ok?"

"I am good dad.. It is nice hearing you.. And daddy"

"We missed you.." I sat on my bed and took a big breath letting my tears cover my face.. All this was overwhelming.. "It's ok princess.. We are here"

"I know.. Would I ask too much if you could find a day and visit me?"

"I thought you would never ask.. We will arrange everything with your daddy and we will come as soon as possible"

"Dad.. I am.."

"It's ok sweetie.. It's ok.. We will see each other soon.. Call us if you need anything.."

"I will.. Goodnight.."

"Goodnight to you too princess"

When I ended the call I took some minutes to compose myself and I went to take a hot shower.. When I got in I stood under the water a couple of minutes letting it take away all my sins, all my thoughts, all my fears..

I didn't go to sleep till it was 2am.. And when I did all I could see was her face..

Next morning i woke up at 7am as always.. Did my morning working out and went at the park for running.. In my way back home I saw the Elle magazine that had me on the cover.. I took it my hands and read the article.. What made me lose my smile though was the last lines of the journalist..

_'Rachel Berry indeed achieved more than any other person of her age did.. From the time I spent with her i realized that all the glory of Broadway, all the awards, all the money in the world can not make someone happy.. Her smile is gorgeous but her eyes could not hide her sadness.. Because they say that the eyes are the mirror of our soul.. And her eyes were telling me another story.. Good luck with your new play Ms Berry.. You are a talented young woman'_

I paid for the magazine and walked back to my apartment thinking of those lines.. Was I that obvious? Was I not happy? What I told him that day I meant it.. I meant every word I said..

At first I wanted to call the magazine and sue them for publishing something like that.. For making me seem depressed or something.. I was already known as a snob, a star, but known as depressed and unhappy with my life I wasn't.. This was a mess.. But yet so true..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

You want to know how is the life of someone famous? I will tell you.. You are constantly being watched.. Even when you go out by yourself to do your groceries.. There is always someone to capture you in your worst, to take advantage of your bad mood if you are not feeling like talking, to turn what you said against you.. I realized kind of late that all this worth nothing.. All the parties, the red carpets, the money, I am not going to say that I don't like them.. That would be a lie anyway.. But some day you reach that point, or I reached that point that I felt tired from all this.. And I reached that point when I realized that I had no one right next to me.. Not a person that I could call a friend, not my parents, not a boyfriend.. And that because I was chasing my dreams to become famous.. But all comes in a price.. And I paid mine for years..

Funny girl was a success.. Every night our theater was packed and the critics were writing laudatory reviews for not only our play but for all the cast..

It has been almost a month since we started and everything was going well.. After that night I saw Quinn outside the theater I was searching for her in the crowd every night.. Or at least the first days.. Then I stopped myself because that was.. I didn't even know what that was really.. All I knew though was that it had to be stopped.. As I promised to myself I didn't go to that club again, although sometimes when I was returning home from theater I had the urge to go there, just for a few minutes.. To see her and leave..

I had to stop thinking of her and in order to forget I had to find someone else.. And that someone was Tony.. He was there and we already were a couple in the media.. Was that the right move? Probably not..

"Rachel babe.." he said while he was standing outside the bathroom door naked..

"Yes.."

"Should I wait for you?"

I didn't say anything.. Instead I removed the sheets that were covering my naked body and walked to where he was waiting.. Once I was standing right in front of him he bended over, kissed me hard and took me in his arms taking us both inside the shower..

Sex with him was good and easy.. I knew that I didn't have feelings for him.. He was just there.. I might be sallow but that was the truth.. And inside I knew that he was doing the same with me..

After being in the shower for almost an hour we finally got out.. If I didn't tell him to stop we would still be inside there fucking our brains out..

"James called and reminded me of our photo shoot tomorrow"

"What time is it?"

"11am in the morning" we were both getting dressed because it was time for me to go to the theater and today he said that he would be there.. Actually that would be his first time seeing our play.. Did I mind? Not really..

"Tony, let's go.. Your hair looks fine.. I am going to be late if we don't leave"

"Just a sec.. Right there.. Ok, how do I look?"

"You look fine.."

"Fine? Only fine?" he said and looked himself in the mirror again.. "Fine is not acceptable.. I have to look good.. There will be cameras there" why i was with him again? Right.. Because it was easy and I had to stop thinking of her.. Only that I couldn't..

"You look good.. Now let's go" I said and took my bag, opened the door and he finally closed it behind me..

While we were driving to the theater he kept asking me about the play.. What was about it and which role I had.. At least he was asking..

Earlier that day James informed us that he called the E! and photographers and pretty much everyone because the couple of the year as they called us would appear together.. That was happening every time Tony and I were going out

"Wow.. James did great babe.. Look at these people.. How do I look?"

"You look good.. Awesome.. Perfect.." what he needed to listen in order for me to go inside and start getting ready.. Once the driver opened the door all the flashes and the microphones were on us..

"Rachel, how do you feel that Tony will be here tonight? Are you anxious?"

"Not at all.. I hope he will like it"

"Are you kidding? I am going to love it.." he said while giving them his best crest smile and kissing me on the lips..

"Tony, why did you come for the first time tonight after a month?"

"I was away for a new movie.. I will tell you all about it once everything is settled.."

"What are your plans for the future..?" future? With Tony? I couldn't even think of a future with him..

"Guys, thank you all but I have to go inside and get ready.." again I heard all the flashes and more questions that were left unanswered..

When I got inside I kissed him and went backstage to my dressing room.. I had mine when all the others were sharing one.. That of course set Santana on fire when she found out in the beginning..

"Well well.. The golden star of this play.. Welcome princess.. How this play would start without you.."

"Santana, I really really don't know what's your problem but you have to get over it.. I am playing in this musical and sooner or later you are going to put it on that stubborn head of yours.." once I raised my voice at her I could see fire coming out from her ears.. She was about to come and slap me when I saw Britanny from behind stopping her..

"Rachel go get ready.. Santana stop.. Enough with you two"

That girl had serious issues but I wouldn't stay to fight.. The show must go on..

Again I found myself waiting for the curtains to open and for me to be the funny girl everyone knew the last month..

Tony was sitting in the first row and what actually caught my eye wasn't him sitting there but her sitting right behind him.. How could I not recognize her.. She had her hair down having them curled, wearing a red lipstick like the one she was wearing when I saw her in that club.. In a moment I almost forgot my lines.. I had to mentally slap myself to continue.. 'Rachel, how do you feel that Tony will be here tonight? Are you anxious?' The question was playing in my mind.. I wasn't anxious till I saw her..

When we did our first break Nik, the guy who had the leading male role looked at me and had to shake me in order for me to wake up..

"Rachel, what the fuck.. What happened out there?"

"Nothing.. I am ok.."

"Go grab a water or something.."

"I will.."

I went back to my dressing room to take a few breaths.. Why she was here? Why today after almost a month? Why even if I never pretty much talked to her yet she was making me feel like I was losing my breath..

"Ms Berry.. You are out in 5min"

"Thank you"

I looked myself in the mirror put some rouz on my cheeks, applied my lipstick, took a big breath and went out to continue..

When the curtains were up again I couldn't help but let my eyes fall on her.. Like no one else was there.. And I had to constantly remind myself not to lose my lines again..

When we finished I practically run back to my dressing room.. Tonight it was Wednesday and Wednesdays were the days were we were signing autographs if someone wanted one that is.. I loved my fans and I loved Wednesdays.. Especially today.. I was just hoping she would come..

Girl after girl, man after man, i was signing autographs and taking pictures.. There was of course a security guy right outside just in case someone went crazy.. And when I didn't see anyone else outside waiting for me I sighed and went to remove my make up when the security guy told me that there was someone else..

"Ms Berry, there is one last lady.. Should I let her in?"

"Of course"

I put my smile on like I did the last two hours and I think that my smile went wider when she walked inside.. If anything I believe she was more beautiful than the last time I saw her..

"I hope that I am not making you run late Ms Berry as I am the last one"

"Ehm, no of course not.." I said and I was still standing there with my eyes glued on her.. She was wearing a white coat with a red beret that was matching her lipstick.. Her bluish eyes now had a shade of green and her face was like those porcelain dolls.. Perfect..

"To whom I sign it?" I said and took an autograph of mine ready to sign it when i felt her close to me.. I heard her whispering in my ear..

"You know my name.." I looked at her and she was so close to me that if I was any closer I could practically kiss her lips.. It was all I could think about since the moment i saw her tonight.. I looked back to the autograph that was on my desk and signed her name.. 'To Quinn, Rachel Berry'.. I gave it to her and she held it in her hands while saying thank you with a gorgeous smile.. Before I say anything to her Tony came inside..

"Babe, you were amazing.. Amazing.. You are the best" he said and took me in his arms giving me a full kiss while Quinn was standing there.. "Now all I want is to take you home and ravish that hot body of yours"..

When he put me down Quinn was exiting the room.. All I could see was her back and her beautiful hair.. Like the way she came here tonight she was leaving me behind being more confused that I already was..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The last month I was curious, I was wondering, I was confused as to why I, a girl, was thinking constantly of another girl.. A girl that I have seen only two times.. What that was making me?

I tried to tell myself that I was thinking of her because she was beautiful.. There is nothing wrong to admit that a girl is beautiful.. I tried to tell myself that it was because of her job and where she was working.. I have never been to a strip club before so it was new and that's why I was thinking of her.. But when the night was falling and I was sleeping my dreams were of her and I.. I was caressing her body while kissing her.. So my thoughts of her were more than just simple..

When I saw her again in the theatre I smiled not only from the outside but from the inside as well.. In my whole life I don't think I ever liked a girl.. I always liked boys.. I had relationships and sex with boys but the moment I laid my eyes on her everything changed..

The way she looked at me that night at the club, the way her voice sounded when she talked to me.. Everything was bringing me closer to her.. Thinking of her, wanting to touch her..

"Rach.. Rach.. Where is your mind?"

"Nowhere.."

"You didn't seem like it.. I was kissing you and your eyes were open looking at the ceiling"

"Tony I am not in the mood for anything.. Let's sleep"

"But Rach.. I want to.." he said and started licking my right nipple

"I don't want to though.. So please stop"

"What's wrong with you? You have been like this the last two weeks.. We don't even have sex every day"

I was starting to really get bored with him and everything he said or did was really pissing me off..

"I am going to go then"

"That's the best thing right now" he got up from bed and started getting dressed.. I wasn't looking at him but I could sense that he was looking at me.. He opened the door and closed it really hard without saying anything.. And I didn't want to hear anything really..

I laid back covering my body with the sheets and looked outside the window feeling a tear burning my skin..

Next morning I got up as usual doing my work out routine and run at the park.. It was the only way to clear my mind.. When I stopped for a small break what I saw from afar surprised me.. It was Britanny and Santana sitting on a bench holding hands.. And like that I saw them kissing.. That could explain a lot.. They were always together, and Britanny was the only person that Santana didn't hate..

I never expected to see something like that.. Just for the record I am not an homophobe or something.. For God sake my parents are gay and they raised me like a princess.. I was just surprised because I would never expect to see Santana kissing another girl.. She always seemed so straight to me..

Santana was a person that was hard to read.. Since day one she made clear that she didn't like me and although I tried to understand why, I couldn't.. I don't like some people either that doesn't mean though that I would go and make their life a living hell.. That was what Santana doing to us and mostly me.. She is the kind of person who everyone would like to be friends with, not for her wonderful character of course, but not her enemy..

When I got home I debated with myself if I should tell her something or not.. It's not that I had anything to lose.. I had something in my sleeve that she didn't know I was aware off and I could easily use it against her.. Could I really do it to her? Yes and no..

Tony didn't call me after last night and I didn't expect him to do so.. To tell you the truth I didn't want him to.. All this fake smiles for the publicity, the fake relationship, it was tiring and I wanted it to stop..

When I got out from the shower I heard my phone ringing.. At first I thought it was him and I didn't even want to bother but when I saw who was it I was excited..

"Daddy.. Hey.. How are you? How is dad?

"We are good princess.. Dad is making some last arrangements"

"Last arrangements?"

"Your dad wanted to be a surprise but I couldn't keep it to myself.. We are coming to New York"

"Whaaaaaat? Really?"

"Yeah, we are leaving from here in three hours.. I am just putting some last things in the luggages"

"I can't believe it.. You are staying with me of course"

"Sweetheart we already booked a hotel.. With the musical and everything we thought that would be the best.. And it is suppose to be a surprise.. So be surprised when we are going to be at the theatre tonight.."

"Oh daddy.. You really can't keep anything right?"

"No, I can't.. Ok, I heard your dad.. I'll text you when we get into the plane and when we land.. See you soon princess"

"Have a good trip daddy"

I couldn't believe that I would see my parents.. It has been more likely four years since the last time I saw them or talked to them.. I still remember that day..

It was after I was nominated for my first Emmy award and of course I was so excited.. To be more specific, at that time I was the queen bitch.. I had everyone worshiping me, I was starting to make a name to the business, whatever I wanted I had it and of course I didn't care for anyone's feelings..

I remember I wanted both my parents to be there.. Up until then it wasn't known in the public that I had two gay parents.. James, my manager, from the other hand knew.. When I found out that I was nominated I wanted both of them to come but James insisted that it wouldn't be the best thing to do.. I was new to all this, people were starting to know me, and all this gay thing would ruin my career.. And my career was everything to me.. I called my parents and told them.. Of course dad wasn't exited about that.. It wasn't the fact that he wouldn't be there that pissed him off but the fact that they didn't raised me to be like that.. They raised me to be proud of who I am.. And then we fought and we fought really hard.. He said some things that really hurt me and of course I did the same.. That was the last time I talked to them..

Did I miss them? Every day.. But I was so selfish to admit that I was wrong.. I was just glad that they forgave me and that they would be here tonight..

When I got at the theatre everyone was there.. I went to my dressing room to do my make up and to get dressed.. While I was there looking myself in the mirror I couldn't help but to think of her.. The last two weeks I haven't seen her coming here.. She didn't come again although I was hoping to see her somewhere in the crowd.. I thought of going to the club where she was working but I was a cowered.. What I would tell her anyway? I loved your show? I like your eyes? I can't stop thinking of you? I couldn't do that.. At least not yet..

"Ms berry.. You are out in ten minutes"

"Thank you George"

I haven't seen Santana yet or Britanny.. Usually I would have Santana bitching at me but she was nowhere to be found.. And so did Britanny.. I couldn't help but to wonder that maybe those two were having fun somewhere else..

While I was waiting for the curtains to open I took a big breath, put my best smile and I did what I knew the best.. Act..

I tried to find my parents into the crowd but I didn't want to be seen like I was searching.. That way I would blow off the so called surprise dad had in mind.. But when the play finished and I got to my dressing room I was waiting patiently for them to come in here.. And when I heard George telling me that two men wanted to see me I thought that my heart would stop.. First daddy got inside and took me in his arms giving me a kiss on my forehead the way he used to when he was putting me in bed and then dad came.. For a second he stood there looking at me and I did the same.. We both walked at the same time and without saying anything we both hugged..

"I missed you princess"

"Missed you too dad"

"We have so many things to say"

"We do.. So lets go?"

I took them from their arms and we walked outside the theatre with me being so proud of having them as my parents.. Putting my career over them was the biggest mistake I ever did.. It's a good thing that I didn't lose them..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It has been a month after my parents came to pay me a visit in New York and see me at the theatre.. It was a month since I last saw Quinn and a month were James wanted me constantly to be seen publicly with Tony.. As he was saying _'you are the couple of the year.. Like another Brangelina'. _So I was walking from red carpet to red carpet, from photoshoot to photoshoot and whatever else James could think off..

You would say why I was doing that.. Why I was following his instructions.. James Van Der Moz was one of the best managers.. Yes, he was an asshole but he could reach my career to the top.. And I loved who I was.. I loved what I was doing.. The only difference is that I wasn't 22 years old anymore and I already had a name out there.. James simply was making me one of the best of my generation.. And I am not going to lie.. I liked it..

My parents stayed here for two weeks.. They were both working so they couldn't stay more.. We promised though to see each other soon.. I don't know how soon it would be but I wanted to visit Lima.. It has been a really long time..

I tried to be with them as much as I could.. And having them close to me again it felt amazing.. I almost forgot how it was to be loved for who you are.. For them I was Rachel, their daughter.. Not Rachel Berry, the Broadway star..

I loved both my parents very much.. Daddy, though could feel me.. Could always sense what was wrong with me.. If I was lying or not.. Dad from the other hand, him being my biological father, was the one who would ground me if I would do something wrong.. He was pretty much, if I could call him that, the bad one while daddy was the good one.. But nevertheless they both cared deeply for me..

Two days before they leave daddy said that he wanted to talk to me.. And I knew that that meant that he wanted us to be alone.. So we sent dad to do the groceries while I took a walk with daddy at the park.. We were walking but none of us were talking.. Then he took my hand and we both sat on a bench..

"Rachel, you know that I could always read you and I will continue to do that as long as I live"

"I don't know what you are saying daddy" he then turned my face to look at him

"Talk to me" he said gently and like that I cried in his arms.. I haven't cried for so long but yet since I met her it seemed that I was crying more often..

"Sssshh.. its ok.. I am here.."

"Oh daddy.. I don't know what to do anymore"

"What is it princess?" I didn't know from where to start.. But I knew inside that all that I was feeling had a beginning and that was since I stepped my foot inside that club..

I told him about that night.. I told him about Quinn, that although I never spoke to her, although we have only seen each other five times, I thought that I liked her.. Liked her, like in a way a boy likes a girl.. Like her, like I wanted to kiss her.. I wanted to go and find her.. And I was confused as to why I was feeling that way over a girl when practically I had a boyfriend and I was having straight sex..

"Rachel, your dad and I raised you to be who you want to be.. To love who you want to love.. It doesn't matter to me if that person is a girl, a guy, black, yellow, even if they are from planet Mars.. What do you want to do though? That's the question you need to ask yourself.."

"I am confused.. I don't know.. I just don't know" I got up from where we were sitting and stood up with my arms close to my body.. I felt him coming from behind me and putting his arms around me and laying his chin on my shoulder..

"Sweetheart, all you need to do is listen to your heart.. She is the one who can give you the answers that you seek.. What your heart tells you?" I turned my face to look at him.. I knew what my heart was telling me.. She was telling me to go and find her.. But..

"But daddy.. I know I like her.. What about her? What if she is not gay?"

"Then you can be friends.. But from what you told me I believe that she likes you.. Could I come to that club and see her dancing as well?"

What I haven't told him was the fact that she was dancing to a strip club and not a club.. So of course my answer was a no and I think he could see it on my face..

"Well, when you are going to be together I want to meet her.. Ok?"

"Daddy.." I smiled and I hit on his arm.. I am sure though that I didn't hurt him a bit..

"Want to go back to the apartment?"

"Yeah, I am sure dad is missing you.." I said in a teasing tone

"I think he is missing both of us.."

When I told him about Quinn I felt relieved.. And daddy was right.. I needed to go and see her.. I wanted to for a long time.. And that's why I was outside the strip club debating if I should go in or not.. The door opened and I didn't think.. I just got in..

It was past midnight and as far as I remembered Quinn's program was at 1am.. I got inside looking around to see who was there tonight and sat at the bar..

"You again.. I haven't seen you for quite some time now"

"How you remember me every time?"

"Well, you are hard to forget with that pretty face and I am a barman.. I remember everyone.. So what can I get you?"

"Can I have a martini?"

I sat and drank my martini waiting for Quinn to start her program.. All the time I was chit chatting with the barman whose name was Mariano and he was from Italy.. He had a wife and a kid and he was very proud to show me the pictures he was keeping inside his wallet..

"You are here for her right?"

"Excuse me?"

"You are here for Quinn.. But pretty much everyone is here for her"

When he said that I felt something twisting inside me.. I didn't want to admit that it was jealousy.. But was it possible? And before I say anything to him I heard the music and from the men calling her name and whistling I knew she was out.. I turned slowly and looked at her.. She was wearing some black tight boy shorts with high heels and a corset.. Her hair were curled down and she had on that red lipstick she was wearing when she came that night for an autograph.. She was so beautiful.. Like the other times I took my drink and got closer to a table that was near the stage she was dancing..

I remember Mariano telling me that Quinn wasn't a stripper.. She was just a dancer.. She wasn't leaving with any client and she wasn't a whore.. So what I was doing here? When I looked back from my drink I saw her looking at me.. And I could feel like she was looking through me.. Every move she was making she was looking back at me.. I wanted to leave.. But not because I didn't want to be here.. It was because of the way I was feeling.. It was something I never experienced before.. She was making feel that way..

"_Quinn baby.. I looooooove you" _a drank fat man was yelling at her.. She from the other hand continued with her dancing never taking her eyes from me.. My heart was beating so fast..

"_Daaaaance for me Quinn.. Daaaaaaaance" _I wanted to get up and tell him to shut the fuck up.. I couldn't believe how she was doing that.. When she finished her program I was right about to leave when Mariano came to my table..

"You never told me your name lady.. Quinn told me to ask you to stay.."

"How? She didn't even move from the stage.. And it's Rachel by the way.. Sorry I didn't introduced myself"

"I had specific orders when I would see you again to ask you to stay"

"I see.. Ok.."

"Can I bring you something else?"

"I am good.. Thank you Mariano"

I was waiting at the table for almost half an hour wondering why she wanted me to stay.. Why she asked Mariano something like that.. My leg was shaking and I couldn't do anything to stop it.. That was because I was nervous.. I was looking somewhere else when I felt someone sitting on the chair right in the opposite of mine.. It was her, and she was wearing her red beret..

"Hi.."

"Hi.." I said shyly back to her..

"I am glad you stayed this time.. You never stay"

"Since I was asked politely to stay I did.."

"We never introduced properly.. I am Quinn" she said and gave me her hand..

"Rachel"

"I know.."

* * *

><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

'We never introduced properly.. I am Quinn'

'Rachel'

'I know'

I couldn't take my eyes off her.. She was still wearing her clothes from her program so it was kind of difficult for me to concentrate when her corset was making her boobs so tasty.. Noo.. I had to stop.. For crying out loud it's the first time we were talking and I was looking at her boobs..

'So Rachel.. Or should I call you Ms Berry'

'Please.. I would rather not.. Rachel is fine'

'Rachel it is then'

'Ehm.. So Quinn is your real name or your.. You know..'

'Stage name? No.. I am using my real name.. It sounds like queen but it is written as Quinn.. So in their mind they think I am a queen or something.. It gives them something to fantasize'

I wanted to ask her so many things.. Like how she does that thing.. How she manages all these people yelling and drooling over her.. How she dances for those people.. But at the same time I couldn't.. It wasn't right..

'You were amazing by the way..'

'When?'

'At your play.. I believe that you were the right girl to play funny girl.. And what I like is the fact that you are giving something from you in that play.. You are not trying to copy Barbara Streisand'

'How..? Are you a musical fan?' she just laid back on her chair and gave me a smile that could bright anyone's heart.. And I tried really really hard not to look at her boobs..

'Well.. Let's just say that I am a girl who likes a lot of stuff.. I have to go up there and continue my program.. Would you stay till I finished?'

'I would love to' like I could say anything else.. She had me on her smile..

And like that the mystery that Quinn was left me there wondering who she really was.. When she got up on that stage again all men went wild.. And that little green monster of jealousy was growling inside me and I had to stop..

It was close to 3am when Quinn came out all dressed up and I must admit that I missed that corset she was wearing.. But I wasn't complaining for what she was wearing either.. Black tights with high heel boots, a red v-neck shirt and a black leather jacket.. Her hair was up in a loose pony tail and she didn't have all that make up she was wearing when she was dancing..

'Thank you for waiting for me Rachel..'

'No problem'

'Goodnight Mariano and tell Sofia that I said hello.. Kiss the kids for me'

'Goodnight Quinn.. Have fun' he said with a wink and I was confused as to what he meant..

'Ehm.. I don't know if you have to wake up early.. I would suggest an early morning coffee and some pancakes.. If you like'

I was debating with myself if I should go or not.. The truth is that I had to wake up at 7am but it was already 3 and I was still up.. Also I was here with her.. The girl who was occupying my thoughts and dreams since the first day I saw her.. And I wanted to get to know her.. So my answer was easy at the end..

'No.. I don't have anything planned for tomorrow.. I have a show but it's late at night.. So I believe that a coffee and pancakes are fine'

Tomorrow I had a photo shoot planned with Tony.. That's why I had to wake up at 7.. But I would text James telling him that I was sick and I couldn't go..

'Its not very far away but we can take a taxi if you want'

'No.. It's ok.. Actually I like it.. Its beautiful this time of the year..' she said while looking at me.. She was surprised..

'What?'

'Nothing.. I just didn't expect you to be so.. How can I put it.. Simple?' I laughed when I heard her saying that.. Simple was something I never was.. I always thought of myself as being difficult and the last couples of years a bitch..

'Well.. What can I say.. I am a mystery myself..'

'You sure are' she smiled at me and I caught myself flirting with her.. And instead of feeling awkward it felt nice and warm and normal..

'Here we are.. I told you it wasn't far away'

It was a small coffee shop that reminded me a brasserie but more americanized..

'Hello gorgeous girl..' a man said from behind a table.. Quinn walked to where he was and kissed him on his cheek.. He was in his late thirties, and quite handsome for his age..

'How was work hun?'

'You know.. Just a normal night at the club..'

'What can I get you?'

'For me the usual but my friend here doesn't know about your awesome shop so I want her to decide by herself'

'Got you.. Sit wherever you want and I'll bring you a menu'

We sat to a table by the window.. We could see everything that was taking place outside.. People were coming out from bars, taxis all over the streets, it was like a normal day at night.. New York never sleeps..

'Here you are.. We are well known for our incredible pancakes but my favorite is crepes.. If you ask her' and he pointed to Quinn 'she is going to suggest pancakes but for me you should try the crepes.. I use my secret ingredient and they are magnifique' he said with a French accent

'Are you French?'

'My mother.. My father is American.. So you understand from where I took all my talent right?'

'Let me guess.. Your father?' I said while smiling.. He was funny..

'I like her Quinn.. So what can I get you?'

'I would like your magnifique crepes and a coffee please'

'Good choice.. Thank you ladies'

'He is really something..'

'He is.. Good choice indeed Rachel' I don't know why but when she was saying my name I could feel butterflies in my stomach.. Was it possible for me to.. No.. It wasn't.. It couldn't be..

'So Rachel..'

'Yes Quinn..'

'Tell me about you..'

'What would you like to know?'

'What would you like for me to know'

'Well.. I am Rachel Berry.. I am a broadway star as they like to call me.. I am 28 years old.. I have two gay parents and no friends.. So this is me.. Nothing interesting really..'

She seemed sceptical for a minute and when I was ready to ask about her the guy came with our orders..

'Pancakes and coffee for you dear and crepes and coffee for you miss.. I hope you enjoy them'

'Thanks Andre'

While we were eating we didn't say anything.. She asked me though how was my crepes and she offered me some of her pancakes before she tried them herself.. They were good..

'How you knew who I was?'

'I knew since the first night you came at the strip club.. I thought I was wrong but I wasn't.. You see.. I am a broadway fan myself.. And I am sure that a lot of people know who Rachel Berry is..'

'Not everyone.. Mariano didn't.. And Andre..'

'Trust me when I say that Andre knows everyone and Mariano doesn't have time to know about celebrities.. He does three jobs to support his family..'

'I was drunk that day.. The first day you saw me.. I don't even know how I got home'

'That is interesting.. I thought you would remember me taking you home that day.. I didn't get you to your apartment though.. You assured me that you knew where you were going.. But I made sure that the doorman would help you get to your apartment safe..'

'It was you then..'

'I thought you knew..'

'No.. I didn't.. I woke up the next day without knowing how I got in..'

In seconds I felt panicking and I knew it was because of how much Quinn knew about me.. And then there was Mariano and Andre.. What if one of those sold a story that everyone would love to read.. _'Rachel Berry is hanging out with a dancer working on a strip club' _

'I am sorry.. I have to leave.. I forgot I had something to do.. Thank you for.. You know.. Coffee.. Bye'

I left 20 dollars on the table, put my coat on and left her.. I heard her calling my name.. I even felt her running behind me to catch me.. I don't know if I wanted that though..

'Rachel.. Rachel wait..' she touched my shoulder and forced me to look at her.. 'What just happened in there?'

'Quinn get inside.. It's cold and you don't were your jacket'

'Why you left like that..? What did I say?'

'Please.. There is nothing wrong.. I just forgot I had something planned'

'I might not know you but I know how to read people.. Working at night helped me understand..' I didn't let her finish..

'That..'

'What?'

'You.. Working at night.. People know about me and what if someone sees us.. And now Andre knows who I am.. What people will think of me..'

'Let me get it straight.. You are afraid people will know that you are having a coffee with a stripper and one of the people who will recognize you will go and say something.. Right?' I didn't answer to her.. Instead I stayed silent..

'I am sorry you feel that way _Ms Berry_ and before you go and judge someone of what they are doing for a living you should think why they are doing it at first place.. Also sometimes people can surprise you.. Have a good night..' she said and walked inside the shop without looking back..

I wish I didn't say what I said but it was my life and I protected my life for years now.. I was just afraid..

* * *

><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

How scared a person can be? Fear has a lot of faces.. Fear of the dark, fear of the heights, fear of certain animals.. And in my case, fear of letting someone in.. For someone to be able to see you for what exactly you are.. What you can give and how you can react..

I was scared.. I was so scared of letting people in.. To have friends.. I always said that it was because I was better than them.. I didn't need them in my life.. I was born to be a star and I didn't have to be like those girls who had no future in their life.. And like that I learned to be a sarcastic bitch.. That was me all these years.. Trying to hide my fear.. And now that I met her, now that I wanted to stop being scared my fear got bigger.. And I pushed her away. And it never hurt me before that much like this time..

The moment she called Ms Berry I knew she was pissed. Is it possible to know a person although you talked to them just for a few hours? As I see it, we clicked.. And I felt that click when I first saw her that night..

They say that you fall in love with someone at first sight. And although that never happened to me before it happened when I saw her.. When I looked at her and she looked at me back..

I had to learn not to let my fear guide me.. I knew that all these things I was feeling were for some reason.. And while I was having an inner dialogue with myself I stopped and went to find her.. At least she deserved it that much.. And I didn't want to lose her, I didn't want to wait for a month again to see her at the theatre.. I wanted her in my life..

I run to catch her while she was going inside the café again

"Quinn, wait please" she turned her face and looked at me.. I tried to read her face but I couldn't really understand what she was feeling..

"What do you want Ms Berry?" she said and the tone of her voice was so much different.. "Aren't you afraid for people to see you talking with a stripper? She said the word stripper loudly but then she put her hand on her mouth trying to stop herself ironically.. "Oh, I am sorry.. I shouldn't have said that so loud.. It's a good thing that no one is here though and no one will know.."

"Can you please stop? Stop.. I am scared.. Don't you get it?" Now I was the one yelling and I realized that I had an audience that was very pleased to see what was happening inside his coffee shop "Come with me" I took her hand and guided her outside saying a briefly goodnight top the owner..

"Where are we going?"

"My apartment"

I wasn't driving a car and we didn't take a taxi.. She didn't say anything to me as I didn't' say anything to her.. It was like two people who didn't know each other, walking side by side on the street..

When we reached my apartment block I opened the door for her to get in and once inside the elevator I pressed the button to my apartment..

Was I scared? Totally.. I had this girl I liked that I wanted in my life.. I wanted to get to know her and most of the times to take her in my arms and kiss her.. Sometimes I believe that this was what I was craving the most..

"This is my apartment" I said like she couldn't understand where were we..

"Rachel, what this is about? Why are we here?"

"I wanted you to understand that I am not a bad person.. I know I am not perfect but I am not a bad person.. And what happened back at the coffee shop, I am sorry.. I don't know how to react around people sometimes.. I believe that everyone cares about Rachel Berry and not Rachel.. And I am scared.. I have been scared in a long time now and when I met you that fear became stronger"

"Why is that?" she said and came closer to me..

"Because.. I.." I couldn't find the words to tell her what I was feeling.. She came closer again.. Her face inches apart from mine.. I was starting to feel my blood boiling inside, my heart was beating fast..

"Rachel, I see people every day.. That's my job.. I learned to read them so I can be safe when I am around them.. I read you right away.. Seeing you that night wasn't the first for me.. I watched you playing different roles on that stage, I read your interviews.. Do you know what I think of you?" I wanted to say yes but at the same time I didn't know what she believed about me.. I nodded thought because I cared about knowing what she though.. She touched my face and immediately I felt how warm her touch was making me feel..

"You are like a little bird falling from its nest and doesn't know how to fly.. But you have to learn how to do that because then the bigger animals will come and eat you.. Don't be scared Rachel.. Learn to embrace your fear and find the strength to fly.. And one advice.. Don't judge a book from its cover.. If you don't read it you won't know if it was good or not.."

While she was telling me all this I felt my cheeks wet and her drying my tears with her thump..

"You are beautiful Rachel.. Try to learn to love yourself and then you will see that everything is going to get better" she tried to leave but I held her hand and when she slowly turned her face to look at me I did something I wanted for so long now.. I kissed her lips.. I didn't know if she was feeling the same when I did that.. It could be my loss.. But when I felt her kissing me back then I knew that this was the right thing…

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	10. Chapter 10

**I am sorry it took me so long to update and that is not long but work has been hectic..**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

A kiss can mean so much.. Some people believe that just from one kiss you understand a lot.. Love, lust, wanting.. In my case kissing her was like fireworks.. I always heard that from people but never experienced it.. I kissed a lot of people but not one made me feel like this moment..

When I felt her lips on mine my heart started to beat so fast.. I thought that my heart would break.. I was kissing a girl who happened to be Quinn, a girl I was falling for for the last month.. I should have wondered why I was attracted to her.. She was a girl after all and I was straight.. Yes, I was straight.. But while I was kissing her I couldn't stop.. My mind wasn't thinking.. I just knew that I had to kiss her.. It felt so right..

"Wow.." I heard her saying after we stopped kissing because both of us needed time to breathe.. I missed her lips already.. "I didn't expect that"

"I am not sorry I did what I did Quinn"

"I am not sorry either.." she touched my face and I felt the warmth from her hand with me leaning against it.. "I am not going to deny that I didn't want that since the first day I saw you"

"I.." I didn't finish what I wanted to say to her.. My phone was ringing and when I saw who was it especially at a time like this my face frowned.. I didn't want to pick it up especially now that Quinn was here with me.. But Tony kept calling..

"I am sorry.. I have to pick it up"

"No problem"

I moved away a little bit so I could answer to his phone call..

"Hello"

"Hey babe.."

"Its late Tony.. What do you want?"

"I want you.." I could hear from his voice that he was drunk.. That would explain the drunken phone call

"You are drunk.."

"No, I am not.. At all.. So are you going to open the door?"

"What? What door?" before I finish I heard the bell ringing.. I looked at Quinn and she was looking at me back surprised as well.. Tony and Quinn at the same place.. Last time it was at the theatre and Quinn left leaving me behind with Tony kissing me..

"I think you should open the door Rachel.. He will wake up everyone" I didn't want to open that door.. Because if I would then Quinn would go away.. And I wanted her to stay..

"Open the door.. I'll go.." she said and took her handbag on her hands ready to turn her back on me..

"Quinn, please.. Don't leave.. I'll tell him to go.. Please stay"

"Rachel.." I walked close to her and cupped her face giving her a kiss on her lips trying to show her with that way that I wanted her at this moment and not my star boyfriend..

"I'll tell him to leave.."

I opened the door and a very drunk Tony with his shirt opened was leaning against my door.. Once he saw me he took me in his arms getting us both inside.. It wasn't difficult for him being muscular and taller than me.. He started kissing my neck and then my lips while I was trying to push him away

"Stop.. You are drunk"

"I want you so bad right now.. I want to ravish your hot sex body of yours and I want you to do what you did the other day.. You were so good babe" I wanted to hide from embarrassment once he started to talk like that.. Quinn was still here and she was listening to what he was saying.. Tony haven't seen her with all his drunk self.. But I could see her walking to the door ready to leave.. I wanted him to stop touching me..

"Tony stop.. Stop touching me.." once I was free from his arms I walked to where Quinn was standing and touched her hand, looked at her in her eyes saying I was sorry..

"I am sorry.. I didn't know he would be here.."

"Why you are sorry Rachel? He is your boyfriend after all.. No need to feel sorry about that.."

"Who is that girl babe?" Tony said from the couch interrupting..

"Go back to your boyfriend Rachel.. He asks for you.."

"I don't want to go back to him.."

"I have to go.. Goodnight"

"Quinn.." she gave me a look that said everything.. I could see the disappointment in her eyes.. And like that she closed the door..

"Babe.. Who on earth was she and what she was doing here?"

"What on earth are you doing here?"

"I came for you.."

"No.. You came to have sex with me.. I am not your sex toy Tony.. If you want to have sex go find a girl and have sex with.. I am sure there are a lot of them who would like that" he smiled at me and he came closer..

"Are you jealous babe?"

"Ha.. Not even in your wildest dreams.. Now go please.. I am not in a mood for sex and especially with you.. And stop calling me babe.. I hate it" I walked to the door and I opened it waiting for him to leave..

"What is wrong with you lately? You are turning into a bitch"

"I never stopped being one.. Now go.." he looked at me and left.. I closed the door and leaned against it.. I couldn't believe how my life was turning out to be..

I couldn't sleep after all this.. After feeling for the first time Quinn's kisses, after knowing how good her hands felt around my neck.. I laid on my bed just thinking of her realizing that this girl was blowing my mind away and at the same time i was scared because no one knew.. And what was I really?

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

They say that takes one to know one.. But when you don't like what you see, then what? How you face the truth about certain things?

The last month I was looking at myself and I could really see a new person, a person I never thought that existed.. I was trying to understand everything but I realized at the end that as I was searching more and more to find the answers I was seeking I had to let myself be free.. But how could I be free when practically I was tied up on the life I created, a life I craved, the person I wanted to be..

Next morning after what took place in my apartment I woke up earlier than the usual, but the truth is that I didn't sleep at all.. I run as I never did before and the cold air on my face was in a way awaking me.. I came home, I showered and went at the theatre..

When I got inside the theatre I was alone.. I was surprised because usually everyone was here but when I checked my watch it showed 8.30am.. Of course no one was here yet as we were supposed to be here in an hour.. It didn't bother me though.. No.. It has been a long time since I felt that peace.. The silence.. I took off my coat, left my handbag on one of the front seats and I stepped on the stage.. The theatre seemed so much different when no one was here.. Someone would say cold but I would say warm in a way.. I could feel this aura.. All the people who were on the same stage long before I was.. The plays that were played, the smiles, the bows, the tears.. And with all these feelings inside I just started to sing and I let myself feel free..

"Bravo, bravo.." I heard someone saying and clapping at the same time.. "You prove me every day why I hate you so much Rachel Berry.." when I looked back I saw it was Santana who was coming close to the stage "I see you didn't lose time.. Wanted to play the star again? I thought that you already was.."

"Santana, I don't want to fight with you.. I really don't know what is your problem but I am not.." before I finish my sentence she was up on the stage walking to where I was.. Santana was a intimidating person.. She was a good singer, a good dancer but unfortunately she was so angry.. I could see it every time she was looking at me or talking to people..

"You are not what Berry?"

"If you want the stage is all yours.." I said and I was about to leave when she stopped me..

"Giving up so fast? I didn't expect that from the star of Broadway and award winner.. You are a fraud Berry.. A fraud.. And instead of making us the favor and leave, you are still playing a role that really doesn't suit you.." I wasn't planning to answer but I never was someone who was letting things go and this time if Santana wanted to play two could play this game..

"I am a fraud Santana? Let's try this again.. What about you being a liar to all of us but first to yourself.." she laughed that sarcastic laugh and she had her arms crossed on her chest..

"Please tell me why I am the liar Berry"

"I know Santana.. I know about you and Britanny.. As I know about your hateful things you said about people being gay.. And look at you now, being with a girl.."

"You don't know what you are talking about.." she said coming right infront of my face.. I was sure she would hit me because the anger she had was that obvious..

"You know what I mean Santana Lopez.. So before judging other people, start from yourself first.. I don't know from where are you coming and what happened to your life for you to be so hateful to people.. I am not better than you.. I've done things I am not very proud of but at least I am not a hater and I don't let out my anger to people because I am a lesbian" once I said the word it was like I turned the switch off.. Like something was broken inside her.. And I might be wrong but I think I saw a tear forming in her eye.. I expected her to say something back, to do something, but she walked away from me and left me standing on the stage..

I haven't seen her till it was time for the play to begin.. And that was at 7pm in the evening.. She didn't look at me not once and Britanny was always next to her but it was like Santana was pushing her away.. Looking at them I realized I did the same with Quinn the other day, I was afraid and I pushed her away, but I knew what these feelings were and I knew what I had to do..

Once we finished and I dressed back to my clothes I took a taxi and went to find Quinn to where she worked.. I was known by now at the club so when the doorman saw me he smiled and opened the door for me to get in..

I knew it wasn't her time to go out yet so I went back to her dressing room to see her and explain to her that I wanted her as I never wanted anyone in my life.. I wanted to tell her that I was ready to break up my supposed relationship with Tony and to be with her if she wanted me.. But when I opened the door I saw another girl being all over Quinn and my heart stopped..

"Rachel.." Quinn said but I couldn't hear.. My heart stopped.. I couldn't believe to what I was a witness.. I moved around and walked away from the sight I still couldn't believe..

"Rachel, wait please.." I realized I had tears on my face because they were burning my face.. Why I was crying? It's not that Quinn and I were together.. We only kissed.. She was free to do what she wanted.. But why it hurt? "Will you please let me explain? It's not what you think it is.." I could hear her saying and I don't know what was that I was thinking.. All I could see was that girl being all over Quinn.. I turned my face to look at her and I was trying to form the words but I couldn't..

"Rachel, please.. It's not what you are thinking about.. Sofia is into me but I am not.. When you stepped inside I was pushing her away telling her I didn't like her the same way.." I wanted to believe her so much and I knew that if I would look in her eyes I would know the truth.. And when I did I saw the way she was looking at me.. Her eyes were scared but they were telling me the truth..

"I shouldn't act the way I did.. For that I am sorry.. It's not we are together or anything.."

"We could be if you wanted that.." she said and cupped my face and I could feel her need to kiss me.. It was the same need I had..

"Actually that's why I was coming here tonight.. To tell you that and that I was going to break up with Tony.."

"If you are sure about that.."

"I know what I want Quinn.. And being with you it just makes me feel things I never felt before.. It's fast, it's scary, I don't even know you.. We only went out once.. But.. It's just that I can't take my mind off you.. Since the first say I saw you.. And I would like to know where this thing could take us.." without saying anything she kissed me and that kiss was making my legs trembling.. I could feel it in my heart that what I was doing here with her was the right thing..

"I have to go out in a few.. Wait for me?"

"I'll be sitting to the table that is the closest to you.."

She kissed me one more time and we walked together to the stage where she went on the backstage and I went to sit to the closest table as I told her I would..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys.. Sorry for not updating but writing wasn't in my mind this past month.. I am back though and ill try to post more often but i can't promise.. I will finish the story though as i always do.. This chapter will be from Quinn's POV.. Some of you wanted to see her story.. So here it is.. Hope you like..**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

**Quinn's POV**

I was always fascinated by people.. The way they act, the way they lie, the way they fall in love.. It's amazing sometimes what can you see if you stop for a moment, sit on a bench and look around you.. It's just a moment out of your ordinary life.. To stop and look.. I started doing it since the first day I stepped my foot in New York..

I came in New York nice years ago from a small town in Kansas.. Yes, I am what the city people would call a farm girl.. I was never ashamed though for who I was and where I was coming from.. I was ashamed though for what happened to me and what I did..

I grew up in a very catholic family.. I was daddy's and mommy's girl, with the perfect outfit, the perfect manners, the perfect student.. My family was one of the best families and one of the wealthiest.. So no, I didn't live in a farm and I wasn't feeding animals in my free time.. I was popular and pretty much I had everything that I wanted.. Till one night and one mistake..

It was the last day of our last year in high school.. I was eighteen year's old and ready to go to one of the best universities in the country.. I was accepted in Harvard to study psychology.. So I wanted to do something to celebrate, to forget for one second the already planned life I had.. I would get engaged with Bobby Alterworth after graduation, I would go and live with him in Boston since he had a scholarship in football and Harvard accepted him as well, and that was it.. By the end of our college year I would get married and be a lovely wife..

So that last night of our high school year I did something I wasn't expecting to do.. I got drunk and I had sex with someone who wasn't Bobby.. And at that specific moment I didn't think, I didn't care.. Puck was available, he was well known as a man whore and I just wanted to have fun.. And besides, I knew he wanted me.. I was the only one he didn't have sex with.. And although it was a night I was planning to forget the next day, it happened to be a night that would make have conflicted feelings.. It was the worst night that happened to me but yet something I would never forget.. Even I wanted to.. Even if I tried it to.. Because after that night everything changed..

Nine months later I would give birth to my daughter, my parents would throw me out of our home and disown me, my engagement with Bobby would be broken and for my town I would be a whore and a cheater.. A girl who fucked up her bright future for someone who was a pariah..

I was nineteen years old trying to be a grown up.. I made tough choices that now I regret doing but at that point I wasn't.. I wasn't planning to stay with Puck although he tried to convince me that everything would be ok and that he didn't have a problem with us being together and raise our daughter.. But I wasn't planning to keep a child I didn't want to, a child that came from a drunk night with someone I wasn't even in love with..

I gave Beth, that's the name we chose to give her, for adoption and I packed the few things I had with me and went to find myself in a new city.. To forget everything that happened.. It wasn't easy but when you don't have anything to hope for, anyone to come home to, then hard things become easy.. And that's how I found myself in New York..

New York is the city of the dreams.. Where you go when you want to be someone, to have a chance on something.. And I wanted to have that chance.. But when you are twenty, New York seems so big, so unwelcome, so untrue.. Especially to a twenty year old.. But I promised to myself that I wouldn't be scared, I wouldn't let anyone to put me down.. And for me being here today means that I managed to do that..

Living alone in a new place, having a new life helped me to understand more things about me.. I realized that the dream I had to become a psychologist was a dream my parents had for me, the life I thought I wanted was the life my parents wanted me to have.. So all these years I was living my parents life, a big lie.. But not any more.. New York helped me see things clearly and to be able to see myself.. Know myself better.. Understand my hidden desires, my own dreams.. And when I did that I was truly happy for once..

You will wonder how I found myself to work at a strip club. The answer is easy.. I had a friend, who introduced me to another friend, who was studying law in NYC and her income was coming from pole dancing to a strip clubs.. Up until then I was doing pretty much every job I could find so I could pay the rent that I was sharing with two other girls who were trying to find their dreams as well.. And I knew what I wanted.. My dream was to become a dancer..

I was already twenty three when I started to work at the club 'Fire'.. It was the same club the girl from NYC was working and in a way I felt safe that I knew someone there..

I always heard how these places are but I was lucky enough to work for nice people and to one of the best strip clubs there.. We had face control on the door and our customers were rich men who liked to watch and sometimes to touch.. The money was good and I could lay for the school.. So that was what mattered to me..

New York is well known for Broadway and which of the new artists, dancers, or actors doesn't know of that.. Broadway is the dream come true for dreamers.. My dream though wasn't Broadway but I liked going to see new plays.. And I won't forget the night I chose to go and see Les miserable's.. Rachel Berry was the an upcoming star of Broadway.. Actor, singer, dancer and simply gorgeous.. She was in every cover of a magazine and the reviews she was getting were amazing.. So I decided to go and see with my own eyes what everyone was saying.. And I was astonished by her acting and how good her voice made you feel.. And like that I became a fan of hers.. Watching every movie she was playing, going to every play she was in.. Till that night that she came to my club and sat to the table close to the stage.. I just couldn't believe in my eyes.. As I couldn't believe the way she was looking at me while I was dancing.. All these years she was close but yet so fat away.. But now she was there, few steps away and in a way it still felt that way..

Something else I realized coming to New York and never truly knew while I was living in Kansas was that I liked girls.. Talking about hidden desires that was mine.. But it was something I dug deep inside and it never came out till I kissed Jasmine, my roommate.. That's when I knew that the feelings I had towards Sofie in high school weren't only friendly, and that's why when I had sex with Puck I cried after.. The good thing is that neither Jasmine nor I felt different after that because it was a game we were playing at a party.. But it helped me to understand who I was and what I wanted.. And I was secretly crushing over Rachel Berry..

I tried to tell myself that it was just me being a fan.. Admiring her and nothing else.. I was being like those teenage girls who were crushing over singers or actors.. But as the years were passing and she was becoming a real star and most well known I knew that it was more than a teenage crush..

After that night seeing her at the club I didn't expect to see her again.. But she did come again and I was more surprised to see her sitting on the same table and looking at me dancing.. And I just wondered.. What she was doing here, at a strip club where men came to enjoy the girls..

Rachel was playing to a new play now.. Funny girl.. And of course there wasn't a chance that I wouldn't go.. And if anything, she was amazing as always.. And I wanted to congratulate her.. Tell her how good she was.. And that I did.. When she came out I was waiting for her.. I didn't know what to expect when she would see me.. What she would say.. She seemed surprised to see me but she was polite.. And she was as beautiful as when she was on stage or when she was a cover in magazines..

It was another night when I went to see her.. It was the nights were they were signing autographs.. I couldn't wait to see her.. And I was planning to talk to her some more.. I was the last one to go to her dressing room.. It was something I planned so that no one could interrupt us.. I was curious about her.. And I was still wondering about her and what she did to a strip club..

Once I saw how she looked at me I saw the smile on her face and when she said _'to whom I sigh it'_ I couldn't help but to answer _'you know my name'. _When I looked at it it said _'To Quinn, Rachel Berry'. _I couldn't hold my smile but when I was ready to say something else I was almost pushed by a blond chimpanzee that was known as her boyfriend.. I would recognize him everywhere.. I won't say that I wasn't disappointed because I was.. So I went away from the dressing room and I tried to delete the picture I had with him sticking his tongue inside her mouth..

You know you are falling for a person when you can't take them out of your mind.. When they are what you are thinking about.. And I didn't find it normal because she was Rachel Berry.. A star.. So I was starting to doubt my feelings.. Maybe it was admiration and nothing else.. But why I has this feeling inside that was different than any other time..

For the past month I decided not to read any of the interviews she was giving, not to go and see her playing, as much as I wanted to, and try to forget all about her.. But unfortunately this is not easy.. Especially when you hear everywhere about her even where you study.. Because my school happens to have dancers who are dancing to her play and they talk about her.. Not always with nice words..

And how can I forget her when after a month she comes where I work, again, sitting at the same place as always.. And I am wondering again what is she doing here.. And I want to ask her.. Because I am that curious.. And with a little push from a friend that knows how I feel I take the chance to do that..

When I did take that chance I didn't know what would happen next.. I didn't expect to go out with her, to kiss her, I didn't expect to be angry with the way she was acting and surely I didn't expect everything that would come later on.. Add all this and a boyfriend in the middle and you have a nice dramatic love story..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Rachels POV**

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><p>What's the difference between love and falling in love? Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.. Falling in love though it's a process to one of love.. Fall implies that the process is in some way inevitable, uncontrollable, risky or that it puts the lover in a state of vulnerability.. And since I met Quinn I have been feeling that way inside.. It's a feeling that I never felt before but at the same time was risky and warm..<p>

So yes, I was falling in love with Quinn, a girl I knew for a short time of period, a girl for crying out loud.. It was scary, it was uncontrollable but I wanted to take that risk..

After the night we spent in my apartment, the drunk Tony, Quinn looking at me like she was telling me with her eyes to do something and me in the middle looking at her leaving I realized what I had to do in order to have what I wanted.. And while I shouldn't want her, because it was like I could hear my manager telling me that this could be a huge mistake, I just couldn't not follow my heart that was just telling me to follow her..

That night I knew what I had to do.. I would break up with Tony and I would stop lying to myself.. Because that's what I was doing all this long..

When I decided to go find her at her work I wasn't expecting to see a girl all over her.. The feeling I had while looking at her it was something I couldn't explain.. An unbearable pain.. It's the only word I can use to describe it..

When she saw me standing there by her door she moved immediately pushing the other girl away.. I walked away from her.. Even when she was calling my name, asking me to wait.. And while I was trying to tell myself to keep going, I just couldn't.. I had to stop.. I needed to stop..

When she explained to me what happened I felt relieved,, I was being an idiot.. Not only because I thought that Quinn had something going on with someone else but the fact that I was acting like we were together.. I didn't have the right to act the way I did but when you are in love with someone you do stupid things. And I learned about that today for the first time..

But then it was my turn to tell her how I felt and what I wanted.. I was hoping she would feel the same and when she told me she wanted the same things I felt like a teenage girl who finds out that the boy she likes, likes her back.. We had so many things to talk about and I just couldn't wait for her to finish and for us to go somewhere where we would be alone..

While looking at her dancing all I could think of was that this gorgeous girl was mine and when she was dancing I felt like she was dancing for me.. But I couldn't stop feeling nauseous when the men from the other tables were calling her names.. I just wanted to go there and tell them to shut the fuck up.. And was that jealousy I was feeling? It was another new feeling and it felt strange..

When she finished her show she went back to her dressing room.. I didn't go to find her, instead I waited where I was for her to come and for us to leave.. She came back wearing her black tights, a turtle neck shirt that showed her cleavage and she had her hair in a pony tail.. I couldn't take my eyes off her..

"Are you ok Rachel?"

"I am perfect"

"Its kind of late.. Sorry you waited for so long"

"Its ok.. Don't worry about it"

"Do you have to wake up tomorrow?"

"I have an interview I have to give and then I have to go to the theatre"

"So want to go home? We can share a taxi"

"Only if you come home with me"

"I don't want to keep you away from your sleep"

"I am not even tired.. So I insist.. Besides, I want some alone time with you"

She smiled at me and we both knew what I meant by that.. She said goodnight to everyone and we took a taxi back to my home although it wasn't that far away from the club..

Inside the taxi we didn't say anything.. Instead we were looking at each other and holding each other's hand.. All I was thinking was how much I wanted to kiss her.. And once we were outside my apartment I pushed her inside and closed the door behind us.. I attacked her lips, kissed her neck and put my hands under her shirt.. I don't know how I knew how to touch her, how to kiss her, considering she was a girl, but it was coming all natural to me.. And when she kissed me back it was like my mind shut off.. It was only me and her..

"I want you so much Quinn.. I think I wanted you since the first day I laid my eyes on you" I whispered the first part to her ear and then kissed her neck..

"I know.. I feel the same thing Rachel.. Since the first time I saw you"

I was dying to touch her.. My whole body was craving for her but I knew at the same time that it would be my first time with a girl, my first time with her, and we had things to talk about.. So I gave her one last longing kiss on her lips and took her hand guiding us to my couch..

"I can't believe we are here together"

"I know.. I feel like I am dreaming"

"Me too.. It feels that way with you.. And it is strange because we don't know each other for long"

"To me it's like I've known you for years Rachel, but I do understand what you mean"

"Do you? Because its all so new to me Quinn.. It's exited, it feels nice but it's scary at the same time"

"I learned that in life we have to do what we feel Rachel.. All my life I was doing what other people wanted me to do.. But now I do what I feel.. So my advice to you is to do what you feel" and when she said that I did what I was feeling.. I kisser her passionately..

"I think I'll try to follow your advice"

"So what do you want to do? You said you wanted to break up with Tony.. Are you sure about that?"

"I wasn't really with Tony.. Tony was my wing man at first.. And then he became a friend with benefits and then he and my manager decided that we should be a couple.."

"I don't really get it but I guess this is how show business works right?"

"I wish I could tell to you how fucked up show business is"

"I read the tabloids.." she said while laughing

"But I mean it.. I want to break up with him or whatever we are to break up"

"Look, I am not going to say that its ok to be with me and him.. Also I don't want to tell you what to do.."

"I know.. I'll speak with my manager tomorrow.. I know he won't like it but I can't stand Tony. He is just impossible"

"Tell me about it.. He ruined my time with you twice.."

With Quinn I felt like I knew her.. It's when you meet someone and you know you will immediately be friends.. We were laughing and talking about anything without realizing that it was already 7am in the morning and we didn't sleep all night.. Unfortunately I had to get ready for my interview but I didn't want to leave her so soon..

"I need to get ready" I said while laying on her shoulder and pouting..

"I know, but we need to get up.. You have to get ready and I have to go to sleep"

"I am so so sorry for keeping you up"

"No worries.. I liked it.."

"Will you wait for me to get ready? We can leave together.."

"I'll wait.. Go get ready"

"Feel like your home.. I'll be ready in less than half an hour"

I gave her a kiss and went in the bathroom to take a shower and try to get ready as soon as possible.. When I finished though Quinn was laying on my couch sleeping.. I stayed there looking at her for a moment.. She looked so peaceful and I just couldn't wake her up.. I wrote her a letter that I had to go and that I would be back round 10am.. If she wanted to stay she could and I would like to see her when I would come back..

I left the letter on the table and kissed her forehead..

Once I was outside I knew it was time to make that phone call..

"Hey, its me.. We need to talk about something"

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry again for not updating.. It's not me being absent for so long.. But at this point i write when i feel the need to write.. As i said before the story will be finished.. I always complete my stories so don't worry about it.. And you won't wait for an update too long.. I'll try to write more often..**

**I want to thank you all for reading and reviewing, for putting my story to your favorites and to your alerts.. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

There are certain things you know you could do for you and only you.. This might be your job and where this job might take you, but its something that not many people are willing to do.. Like, if your job takes you to a new city, state, country, you are going to have to do it in order to keep your job and bring money to your family.. At least I would if something like that happened to me..

But then there was something unknown to me that was making me wonder if I could do it or if I was sure to do it.. And that was love.. Was I willing to take that step forward? Was I willing to go out and claim my love for someone when clearly the world wasn't even ready for that kind of relationships? Even if we thought it was..

But my inner question was, was I really ready for her?

I didn't know.. All I knew was that I was falling for her, I knew that I wanted her but at the same time I was afraid.. To what exactly? Too many things were in my mind.. Afraid of the future maybe.. Afraid of actually fall deeper and deeper in love with her.. Afraid that I would be hurt in the process.. Afraid that I would out myself in public, that everyone would know and finally there was that 'what if?'.. And although when I walked out from that door this morning ready to make that step forward, admit to my manager that I wanted all this thing to be over because I was in love with a girl, as I was walking closer to our meet point my mind was telling me other things..

"Hello Rachel, it's always a pleasure to see you but what this meeting is all about? You sounded really serious yesterday" I thought about calling him and cancelling our meeting but I decided against it.. Besides, I was sure that he would have something to say after all.. He always did..

"Can we just sit and have a coffee first? I didn't have one before I leave"

"Yeah, sure"

We sat to a table next to the window.. I liked watching people walking.. Especially in the morning.. Everyone seemed in a hurry and so dazed..

"So, are you ready to tell me now? Why are we here in this lovely morning Rachel?" I wasn't planning to tell him the truth.. All I would say would be..

"I am fed up with all this Tony thing.. I am tired.. I don't like him.. I never did.. So I don't know what you are going to do but him and I.. It's over.." he was silent for a few moments.. He was looking at me trying to understand from where all this was coming from.. Besides.. We were working together for a few years now.. So he knew that something was off with me..

"Rachel, Tony is good for your public image.. He is handsome, an upcoming movie star, the perfect boyfriend and someone you really need in order to be out and show your work as well.. You need someone like him to be with you.. Public appearances, pictures, walking to red carpets, premieres, pictures you are seen with him that's the best for your career.. I thought you loved your job.. And that you would do anything for it.. It seems to me though that these last couple of months you are somewhere else.. I don't feel like I am working with the Rachel Berry I met.. This right here, in front of me, it seems like a replica.." his words got me and got me hard.. Its not that it wasn't true.. I didn't feel like that Rachel Berry he was talking about.. Like it was someone else.. I did love my job though but I wasn't planning to be that person I used to be again..

"I don't.."

"You don't what Rachel? Is there something you want to tell me?" I was so close to tell him about Quinn but I couldn't.. I just couldn't yet..

"No, I don't. But I am serious.. I don't know what you will do but this whole Tony thing, I want it to disappear.. Go out and say we broke up or something.. And I will tell Tony myself.. This is my final decision."

"I hope you know what you are doing"

"I do.. So now if you excuse me.. I have to go.. When you settle everything call me.."

I left without waiting to hear what else he could say.. I didn't want to hear what he wanted to say anyway..

I took a taxi back to my apartment but it had so much traffic that it seemed we moved every fifteen minutes.. And I just needed to clear my mind.. So I paid the driver what I owed, opened the door and stepped outside the car..

My apartment didn't seem that far away with a car but walking four blocks in New York with heels.. Not the best thought I ever had.. But it helped me sort some things out in my mind.. Not that I managed to do anything..

While I was walking back home I was thinking what I was ready to do this morning and what I did at the end.. I didn't tell Quinn that I would go and out myself to my manager but it was something I was thinking.. But then I over thought about it and I made that step back..

Too many emotions were coming through me and I was so overwhelmed.. I didn't know what to do with them.. But when I opened the door to my apartment all these feelings, these wondering feelings I had, vanished.. She was still here waiting for me.. What was going on with me anyway?

"Hey.. Welcome back.. How was the meeting?" I walked close to her and hugged her like I was away for days and not for some hours.. I was feeling so close to her.. It was such a surprise for me.. I never felt close to anyone than my fathers..

"It's always nice meeting him.." I said with a sarcastic tone.. "He has the tendency to piss me off"

"Then why is he still your manager?"

"Because he is the best, he knows how show business works and because he is just the best if you want to build a career.."

"You said best twice" she said while smiling "So did you tell him what you wanted to tell him?"

"I did yes.."

"And?"

"And he didn't take well what I told him.. But now I'll wait for him to call me and tell me what he did.."

"I took a shower.. Hope you don't mind.. You said to feel like home and I just needed a shower.."

"It's ok Quinn.. No problem.. I told you.. Feel like your home.. Did you drink coffee?"

"No, I didn't want to feel that much like home.. So I was waiting for you.. Want to go out for one?"

"Would you mind if we stayed in? So we can spend some more time together.."

"Of course.. No problem at all.."

I made us some coffee and we both sat on my couch where we shared intimated kisses the night before.. If someone could see me from inside they would see the battle of emotions.. It was like the battle of good and evil.. Or maybe not.. I am known for being dramatic.. But seriously.. There were so many things I wanted to tell her and do with her but at the same time I was just scared..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

In life I came to realize that there are certain things that can make you happy.. Sometimes you are wrong to what you think is happiness.. But I realized with the short time I got to know Quinn that happiness is just the little moments you share with someone you care..

Quinn and I were inseparable.. In a way where I was always at her apartment when she wasn't in mine and in a way where when we weren't at each other's apartments she was either seeing me play or I was at the bar.. Of course this actually moved a lot of suspicions and there were a lot of people who were curious about Rachel's Berry's new friend..

It started slow at the beginning.. I was going mostly at her apartment to spend time with her because in my building everyone knew me and I didn't trust them enough.. Human beings are an exceptional specie.. If you give them 100 dollars they can sell even their mother.. And besides everything I wanted mostly to protect my relationship with her and of course us..

Quinn was understanding with the whole seek and hide game.. In a way it felt sacred what we had.. It was us enjoying each other without the whole being in public thing.. And for once I liked that.. I didn't want to be in the spot of light.. I wanted for once to be in the shades..

The play was getting better and better every day and my relationship with Quinn was counting now six months.. You are wondering how I managed to keep us safe? I guess when you want something very much you do anything to get it or protect it.. And I wanted her very much and mostly I felt that feeling of protection towards her.. Sometimes she found it cute but some other times it was pissing her off cause quoting her words 'I am not a child Rachel to need protection and surely working at night in a bar for a couple of years made me stronger than I look'.

But then when you are living inside your own bubble you can't see what is going on around you.. And both Quinn and I were living on our world forgetting the world we were already living..

It all happened one day when we decided to celebrate our seven month anniversary doing something very romantic and simple.. And by that I mean a nice pic nic in a nice park, not Central Park of course, with some champagne and some nice vegetarian sandwiches Quinn made for us.. We both wanted a nice relaxing day to celebrate our love.. Up until now we were never intimate in public.. Yes, we might have hold hands but there were nothing more than that.. But I don't know why, that specific day I just needed to kiss her.. I just needed to touch her.. To feel that I was really dating that amazing girl.. And I did kiss her.. And it felt good.. I was in public, in a nice small park with not too many people, but yet I felt like I achieved one of my biggest dreams.. It felt that I was ready to commit to her and our relationship because she deserved this and more..

After our pic nic we went at my apartment not caring much after so many months if they would see me with her.. They already knew that Quinn and I were 'friends'.. Friends in their eyes of course.. We spend another amazing night of making love to each other and holding each other to sleep.. After knowing how good it felt to sleep in her arms every day it was difficult not to have her next to me..

It was 10am in the morning when I woke up by my phone ringing loudly in my ear and when I saw who it was I just silenced it and went back to sleep.. But my manager didn't like the fact that I wasn't picking it up so he kept insisting of calling and calling..

"Who is it Rach?" Quinn said from behind me with her eyes being closed..

"My manager.. He keeps calling me.."

"Pick it up then.." she said and spooned me with her naked body close to mine.. I didn't want to pick up my phone.. I just wanted to turn and just kiss her and make love to her till she wasn't able to walk..

"I know what you are thinking Rach.. And as much as I would love that this manager calls in 10am start to piss me off.. So pick it up and you can do to me what you were thinking after that.." and that I did with the thought of what I would do to her later on..

"Yes.."

_"Rachel.. What the fuck were you thinking?" my manager said while yelling in my ear.. And I didn't even know why.._

"Excuse me?"

_"You should get up and get your lesbian ass to one of your closest kiosks so you can go and fucking buy the latest issue of Gossip magazine because you and your lesbian friend are on the cover.. And by the way you are on the cover kissing each other.. Fuck Rachel.. Just fuckity fuck.."_

"Wait a sec.. What? We are on the cover doing what?" I was in shock from what he told me. I was trying to remember everything he said.. I was caught in kissing Quinn? And we were on the cover of Gossip magazine?

_"Now I just have to get you out of this mess Rachel.. And I really don't know how I am going to explain that you weren't kissing her although its pretty obvious that you did.." I didn't want to hear anything else.. I just wanted to realize what he just told me and discuss it with Quinn because now her life was exposed as mine.._

"I'll call you later.."

_"Don't hung up on…"_ before he finishes his last word I had already hung up on him and turned off my phone.. I turned to look at Quinn who now was already standing up on our bed looking at me and I was sure she heard the talk..

"Want to tell me what exactly have happened?"

"We were caught kissing.. That's what basically happened and now we are the front page of Gossip magazine.." She didn't say anything and I did the same.. From one hand I was trying to ease my anger and not because I was caught kissing the woman I loved but from the fact that because of what I did, meaning me being a Broadway actor and singer, I couldn't have the life I wanted away and now I have put Quinn to all this mess and I was afraid of what would happen to her.. They would search her life background.. They would go as far as they could.. And I hated that.. I hated that very much..

"Rachel, come here.." she said with a calm voice and hugged me..

"When we started dating I knew with whom I was going out.. I knew that you were Rachel Berry as I knew the side facts of this relationship but yet I did it.. I don't regret one single moment of this.. If it was me we would have been out since day one but I respected the fact that you wanted us to be under radar.. So don't even think of a second that I am going away, especially now.. I know how these things work.. I know that now that they know they won't stop at everything.. And I know that they will find out what I do for living.. The question is if you want to go away.. If you are ready for this outburst that is going to happen.. Because I don't want to ruin your career.. Your manager can say that I kissed you and that you didn't kiss me back.. Or I don't know what else.. I am sure he can find a good explanation.."

As she was talking I was thinking how it would be my life without her.. And it was a scary feeling.. I knew who I was and what I wanted.. I was tired of lying all these years and now that I had a good thing in my life I wouldn't let anyone to take it away from me..

"Q, trust me when I say that right now I just want to put my clothes on go downstairs with you while holding your hand, going to that kiosk and buying this filthy thing while kissing your infront of everyone.."

"Rach.. Are you sure…" I didn't let her finish.. Instead I silenced her with a kiss that was meant to say 'I love you so much'..

"So I guess I need to put my clothes on right?"

"I think so yes.. I don't want anyone to look at my gorgeous girlfriend's naked body"

"Mmm.. I think you are so right.."

Going downstairs everyone was looking at us.. How many people have read this magazine already.. I didn't look at anyone though.. Instead I walked out the building still holding Quinn's hand..

"Why I have a feeling that everyone knows?"

"Because they do Rach.."

"So since they already know can I kiss you?"

"I don't know Ms Berry.. We are in public.. What people will say?"

"Mmmm.. That I am totally in love with you.. That I am kissing the most beautiful girl in the world and that girl is mine.."

"I think that's a very good reason to kiss me.."

And that I did.. In the middle of the road while everyone was walking I stopped and kissed her and it was a feeling I couldn't explain.. I felt free.. Free from any worries, free from myself, free from the world I had created around me and that it was fake.. When I was kissing her I didn't care for the men that were whistling on us, I didn't care for the old ladies that were walking and saying that what we were doing was disgusting, I didn't care because all I cared was right in front me.. And her opinion was the one that mattered the most..

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><p><strong>TBC <strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

What is the meaning of the word 'star'? Literally, star is a massive luminous sphere of plasma held together by gravity.. So when show business refers to someone famous as a star I guess they don't specifically mean it in that way..

I was given many names in my career.. I was a star, a diva, a bitch, a lesbian, a dyke, a word I really hate when it is given to people.. But besides all these names never one tried to look behind the image, to find who is really Rachel Berry.. I am not saying that I wasn't acting like a bitch, or the fact that I wasn't gay.. I have been both and I still am but the need of people to give labels and to try to deprive someone's dignity it really pisses me off..

After the incident with me and Quinn and our shared kiss in public I must say that I didn't expect the outburst that it would follow.. I believed that if I was out and proud people would stop.. But no.. This actually brought me more into the spotlight.. And with me it brought Quinn as well..

Next day, when everything was out, my manager tried to persuade me that this wasn't the right thing to do.. That my career would end just because I had a girlfriend and not a boyfriend, that no one would want someone gay playing the leading role,, since I would be gay, and so many other things.. I am not going to say that I didn't think about it and at the same time I hated myself because in that particular moment I was thinking my career and not the person I was with.. And most important I wasn't thinking the person I was and I came to be with Quinn.. So I called him back and fired him.. I wanted to have someone next to me that would accept me and my choices and not someone who would control my life..

The first days were hell on earth.. I couldn't even walk on the street without being surrounded by paparazzi and people wanting me to admit or not what that magazine wrote.. I couldn't even enter the theatre because they were blocking the entrance.. I mean.. Really? I was the only gay person in New York? I am sure there were other gay people that were famous.. Go find Ellen and Portia..

"_Miss Berry.. Is it true? Are you gay?"_

"_Rachel, who is the blond you were kissing with?"_

"_Are you getting married?"_

I never answered to anyone of them.. And I told Quinn to do the same.. I am sure that sooner or later they would find who she was and what she did..

"Look who is here.. The new queer of town.. Did you read the news guys?" Santana said with Britanny on her side in front of everyone.. "Queer bitch is gay.. Who would have thought? I must say _Rachel _that I didn't expect this.. You really fooled me.." she was enjoying this very much and what pissed me off was that she was a fucking liar.. I knew that she was gay.. That her and Britanny were together but yet she was here, making cruel comments about me, in front of everyone.. And no one said anything because everyone was afraid of Santana.. But not me.. At least not more..

"Santana, I am sure you read the article and so did you" I said while looking my co stars "I am gay, and I am in a loving relationship with the girl you see me kissing with.. I am happier that I ever been in my life.. And Santana, trust me.. Hiding who you truly are it doesn't make you stronger but weaker.." she didn't say anything.. She stayed unemotional, looking at me.. I am sure she knew what I meant by saying that.. Especially to her.. "So now, if you got your answer I think we should start getting ready.. We have a show" and with that I left them all and went back to my dressing room..

While I was doing my make up I saw Quinn's name flashing on my cell phone.. Immediately all the stressed I felt went away when I heard her voice..

"Rach, are you ok?"

"Yes, I am good.. I am just doing my make up.. The show will start in an hour"

"I am sorry I can't come tonight to see you.."

"It's ok Q.. Maybe it's a good thing.. With all that is happening if I can keep you safe a little longer.."

"Rachel, please stop doing that.. I don't need protection.. We are together in this shit that is going on right now.. Ok? The only reason I am not coming tonight is just because I need to practice for my exams tomorrow.."

"I know.. It's just.."

"No.. Hear me out ok? We agreed on that.. We are already out.. What they don't know yet is my life and who I am.. If you don't feel comfortable with them knowing then we shouldn't be together"

"No, Quinn.. Of course not.. I want nothing else but to be with you.."

"Good.. Me too.. So now go finish getting ready.. I'll see you tonight"

"I'll miss you"

"I'll miss you too"

"See you later"

"Yes, you will.. Bye"

"Bye.."

When I finished I heard a knock on my door.. Britanny was standing there waiting for me to tell her to come in.. Britanny was a nice girl, a very good dancer and I really couldn't understand what she was doing with Santana..

"Rachel, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Of course Britanny.."

"First I want you to know that I am happy for you.. I don't care with whom you are with but if that girl makes you happy then that's the most important.."

"Thank you.. It means a lot.."

"I wanted to say I am sorry for Santana's reaction and comments on your personal life"

"Britanny, you don't have to.. And if anything Santana should be here saying she was sorry herself"

"Santana is not who you think she is.. Everyone thinks that she is cruel and harsh but she is not.. She is a good person.."

"Maybe to you but to all the other people doesn't seem that way"

"Santana and I are together.. We have been together for a year now.. No one knows and I would like for you not to say anything.. I am saying this to you because I trust you and I want you to understand that Santana is doing what she is doing because she is scared"

"She is bullshiting people because she is scared? What is she? Five? Look Britanny.. Thank you for coming here and trying to defend your girlfriend.. I'll tell you what you told me.. If that girl makes you happy that's the most important.. But I could care less about Santana.. To me she is a sad little girl who finds comfort tormenting people.." she didn't say anything.. She just looked at me and told me good luck..

Show must go on..

The play was a success as every night.. And I might be mistaken but I think tonight it was more packed than every other night.. I was ready within an hour and I couldn't wait to go to Quinn's and stay there the night.. But the camera's wouldn't let me go that easily..

"_Rachel, is she here?"_

"_Miss Berry, will you give us an answer about the photos of the two of you?"_

"_Did you and the blond girl break up?"_

"_Did Tony know all this time?"_

Question after question.. I didn't answer any of their stupid questions.. I just wanted to get into a cab and disappear.. With the help of our securities I did.. For the first time I think that I had a panic attack.. Once inside the cab I called Quinn..

"Hey beautiful"

"Hey.."

"How was the show?"

"It went well as always.. See you in thirty minutes"

"Can't wait.."

I gave the driver the address and I tried to relax from all that was going on..

In forty minutes I was outside Quinn's apartment waiting for her to open her door.. She was wearing her black tight short shorts and her sports bra.. Her tone abs were showing and I just wanted to lose myself into her.. I kissed her softly while she took me in her arms..

"Nice seeing you too"

"Now I feel like home.. How are you?"

"I am dead.. I was practicing at the dance studio for hours.."

"I am sure you will do great tomorrow.. Can I come and see you?"

"I don't think you can Rach.. I would like to have you there though.."

"Will you dance for me one day?"

"I already did.." she said with a smirk.. And she did yes.. I still remember that night.. All I can say is that Quinn has an amazing flexibility and she is so sexy with underwear..

"I know.. I was there.. Remember? Sorry.. I meant though that I would really see you dance.."

"That can be arrange.." she said and kissed my lips while she was pushing my back against the couch.. I could feel her hard nipples through her bra touching me and all I wanted was to take her to her room and make love to her all night.. I played with the hem of her shorts sliding my hand under when I realized she wasn't wearing underwear.. I opened my eyes to look at her and she was smiling..

"Like what you touch?"

"Very.."

I lifted her up and took us inside her bedroom.. The rest I leave them to your imagination..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Heartache.. Lies.. Disappointment..

When you invest your feelings on someone, you believe on anything they tell you because clearly you love them.. Because you want to believe them.. You are wondering why I say that.. Because Quinn lied to me about something, something I found out over a magazine who got deep into her personal life and they found something that I wasn't aware while I was dating her for the last seven months.. Quinn, was a mother to a girl.. A girl that she gave for adoption when she was eighteen..

After what happened we knew that something like this would happen.. I didn't expect it though.. I expected for them to say she was a stripper, I was expecting for them to say things like she was stripping in order for her to pay her school, but surely I didn't expect them to find this..

It was a quiet morning.. There were no paparazzi running behind me for an exclusive.. I believed that my whole coming out would be now over.. Little did I know..

I was walking outside a kiosk when I saw Gossip Magazine.. _'Rachel's Berry new girlfriend.. What's her true story..' _I didn't plan to buy it.. I am sure that on the inside they would write things that weren't true as always.. But as they say 'curiosity killed the cat'..

I walked back home to read the article because I never really liked this whole reading on the street.. It can be dangerous anyway.. Quinn was at her school like every morning and I had the day off.. After her class would be over she would come from my apartment and we would have a relaxing evening.. It was the only day I wasn't working.. So once I was back I sat on my couch and started to read..

'_Rachel Berry, three times Tony award winning actress, was spotted last month kissing a woman.. Up until now no one knew who that woman was or what she did.. Gossip Magazine though managed to get an exclusive for its readers.. Quinn Fabray, a country girl living her 'dream' in New York is Ms Berry's new girlfriend.. Blond, with hazel eyes.. A catch you may think.. It could be if her background wasn't that overburdened.. Our sources found out that Ms Fabray, a country girl, at the age of eighteen gave her child for adoption.. A pariah for her family who disowned her, with nothing to hope for, she left her little town and came in New York working as a stripper.. Yes, you read correctly.. Rachel Berry is dating a stripper.. A hot one if we may add.. New York has a new gay couple and we are sure that they won't disappoint us..'_

I was out of words.. I didn't know what to say.. From all that I kept only the child part.. How could she have kept something like that from me.. I wouldn't judge her.. But finding something that personal about her from a damn magazine killed me..

I stayed quiet for a couple of hours.. My phone rang at least fifty times.. That was the last time I counted.. Some of them were from my fathers, most of them were from my new manager and I had a couple of texts and phone calls from Quinn.. I didn't bother to answer any of them.. But I did read all her texts.. She didn't know yet.. And I wasn't ready to tell her.. Not in this state that I was finding myself in..

When it got five I heard the knock on my door.. I knew it was Quinn because in her last text she told me she would be here a little later that usual.. I realized that I didn't get up from my seat since I got in this morning and the pain I felt on my knees was reminding me of that.. I opened the door and there she was.. Beautiful as always.. With her hair in a perfect ponytail and her bag on her shoulder smiling at me and leaning to kiss me.. A kiss that I must say I craved but I turned my face on the other side..

"Are you ok?" I made a step on my left for her to come in without answering at her question.. "Rach? What is it? I know that something is wrong because I can feel it.. You didn't answer any of my calls or texts.. Are you ok?"

I walked to the couch and I heard her closing the door behind her.. I took the magazine on my hands and gave it to her while pointing to her where she should read..

"Read this part of the article"

She sat on the couch while I was standing by my window, hands crossed, looking outside how the world kept moving but inside the time was stopped..

After one minute I heard her voice cracking..

"Rach.. I- I can explain.." I wanted nothing more but to take her in my arms.. But inside my feelings were mixed.. I was disappointed and hurt.. But at the same time I wanted to hear her story and not these people story about her.. Without turning to look at her I whispered..

"Why you didn't tell me Quinn?" I heard her moving from the couch and I felt her right behind me.. My heart was beating fast and I thought that if I couldn't relax my heart would pump outside my body..

"I couldn't.. It's not that I didn't want to.. But this was something that I wanted to forget and.."

"Forget that you have a child somewhere?" it was now that I turned my face to look at her and she had tears in her eyes that matched mine..

"This wasn't me Rachel.. This was a mistake of one night.. A night that as much I wanted to forget I couldn't.. Do you think that I don't wonder where my daughter is? Don't you think that I hate myself for what I did? I did have a living person in me for nine months Rachel.. Nine months.. I kept her with me for a couple of months but I couldn't do it.. I was young and I hate to say that but when I looked at her she reminded me of what I did that night and the outcome.. It wasn't easy for me.." she said all this while crying.. I didn't want to see her cry and mostly I didn't want to be the reason for her to cry..

"Ssssh.." I wanted to be mad.. But in a way I understood her.. "Why you didn't tell me all this long?"

"I was afraid of what you would think of me.. I was ready to tell you once and then you came home and you were pissed at people who give their children to adoption because they are not parents enough to raise them.."

"I am sorry.."

"Don't be.. This is you and the way you think.. This is your morals.."

"Still.. I am sorry you thought I would think less of you.."

"So now they know.."

"Yes they do.. They know who you are, what you did and what you do for a living.. I am the one who needs to be sorry here and not you" she touched my face with her soft hands and kissed my lips.. A kiss that was more to reassure me that everything was fine.. I was practically the one who was destroying her life and I was disappointed at her because she didn't tell me about her life.. How egoistic I can be..

We were sitting there when my phone rang again.. It was my father and I was kind of scared to answer.. What if he knew? I didn't tell them what Quinn did for living and if they read the article they would already know..

"It's my father.."

"Answer it then.."

"What am I going to tell him if he knows?"

"Tell him whatever you like.. It's not that no one knows anymore.."

And with that I answered that call..

"Hey Daddy.."

"Rachel, I have been calling you all morning.. If you wouldn't pick it up I was ready to book tickets and come over there"

"You are being overly dramatic daddy.." there was a pause before he spoke again..

"Rachel, how are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know very well.. I read that magazine.."

"Daddy.. You know I am with Quinn.. You know that I love her.. And I knew all these things that they told about her.. So to answer to your question I am fine.. You have to ask Quinn how she feels and not me.. It's not my life that is outted.."

My fathers knew Quinn.. At least over the phone.. Besides, they were the first people I told about her.. They haven't met her yet but they didn't know these new things.. I hoped that they wouldn't see her differently after that..

The good thing is that they liked her.. Quinn was smart, polite, she was educated and the most important thing to them was for her to treat me right.. And that she already did..

"Give me Quinn on the phone"

"Daddy wants to talk to you" I whispered to her covering the phone with my hand for him not to hear

"What am I going to say? Hey sir, yes I work in a strip club but I am not a stripper? Yes, I was pregnant and gave my child away?"

"I don't know.. Take it" I said and gave her my phone

"Hello Mr Berry.. I am fine yes.. I know.. I understand completely.. I would never do that to your daughter because I love her.. Yes, it was nice talking to you too.. Bye sir" she didn't look at me once she ended the talk and I was afraid of what she told her.. And she kept not talking to me.. She was just silent..

"Quinn? Tell me.."

"Well.. He told me that if I ever hurt you he would hunt me down, he told me he was sorry about everything that happened and working as a stripper wasn't the right job for his future daughter in law as good as the money are.."

"WHAT? Did he really say that? Quinn, I- I didn't say anything.. I don't know why he said.."

"Its ok.. Actually he is right.. I am dating Rachel Berry and as your father said that is not the right job to do.. Besides this was my last year at my school.. And its already paid.. And hopefully I will find a nice job as a dancer or choreographer and you can walk right next to me being all proud of me.."

"Q, I am already proud of you.. I was never ashamed of what you did.. And you weren't stripping.. You were dancing.. Those fucking assholes and their fucking lies.. I'll go out and give an interview.."

"You don't have to Rach.. I don't care what people may think.. I care about what you think.."

When I saw her for the first time at that bar I knew I would be a goner.. The second time I saw her I thought I was just seeing things.. The third time I knew that I needed to see her again.. By the fourth I knew I was in love.. Just like that.. Simply.. And now I was just thinking how it would be to be with her every day.. Every night.. Just us..

**TBC**

**A/N A big thanks to all of you who read and take your time to review my story.. I'll finish the story in 20 chapters.. So three more to go..  
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	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

There are certain things in life that makes someone happy.. That can be money, family or god knows what.. For each person its different..

Up until now I thought that what made me happy was my work.. I loved to sing.. This was my dream since I was a child.. A dream that I achieved and made me who I am today.. But I realized that nothing matters the most if you cant share your dreams with the person you love.. A person who is by your side, supporting you and holding your hand when you need it the most.. And up until now I don't think I was really happy.. Not till I felt Quinn's hand holding mine..

Relationships are not easy.. And whoever says that they are then they never really had a relationship.. Imagine though being in a relationship with a woman and being a famous singer/actress.. Well this is not getting easier but harder for sure..

Quinn and I had to deal with all the things that were said about her.. We wouldn't lie but we wouldn't go out and tell her whole story.. Quinn was a person and what those tabloids didn't understand and they were pissing me off every time was that.. That they didn't treat us as people.. They were doing their job but it was a job against other people lives..

I talked with my manager that day and we said that I would make a statement.. Not about what was written but a statement about who I was.. It was about time.. And today was the day that I would go out there and admit to everyone that Rachel Berry was indeed dating Quinn Fabrey..

"Rach, everything is going to be ok.. I am right here" Quinn said while standing behind me and caressing my arms..

"I know.. I am just.. What if they don't stop after that? What if.."

"Stop.. There is no what if.. Whatever is to happen it will happen.. I don't care.. I don't care of what they are going to say.. The life I had back to my hometown is now gone.. The family I used to have is not my family anymore.. I am here with you.. So I care what you say.. I care what my friends say.. So they can say whatever they want.. I am just worrying about you and this whole thing.. I don't want them to say things about you that are not true.." I had to smile at this.. She always did care about me more than herself and the truth is I cared about her more than I cared for myself.. It was funny..

"Ok.. Its you and I.."

"You and I.." and like that she took my hand in hers.. It was the safety I needed to feel..

"Rachel, we are out in five minutes"

"I am coming.." I got up from my seat and turned to look at her.. She was beautiful as always.. I cupped her face and gave her a longing kiss on her lips.. "So this is it.." show time..

"Goodevening to all of you.. I asked for you to come here today to tell you about the current events in my personal life.. As you already know there are some pictures out there showing me and another woman kissing.. Those pictures are true.. That woman is Quinn Fabrey, an excellent dancer and choreographer.. And this is all you need to know.. I would like for you to respect me and my girlfriend and our personal life.. Thank you"

Once I finished there were a ton of questions that I am sure were needed to be answered but today I wasn't planning to.. Maybe some other time if a magazine wanted an interview but not today.. Today it was me coming out to the world and accepting my relationship with the girl I loved..

"Rach, you were good out there.. I was afraid that they wouldn't let you leave"

"They don't know me well.." I took her in my arms and kissed her once again.. I didn't care who was near us.. I just wanted to kiss my girl..

"Girls, sorry to interrupt but we have to go.." that was my new manager, Maria.. She was the manager I should have had before but as they say, never is too late..

"Yes, is the car outside?"

"Yes, and there are also two bodyguards in case someone tries anything.."

"Thank you Maria.."

When we got to the car no one was there waiting for us but if I was a paparazzi I wouldn't want to be there.. There were two guys, 6 foot 5, outside with black glasses dressed all black.. Only in thought of coming near them it scared me..

We got inside and we headed to Quinn's apartment.. I wanted a relaxing rest of the day till the show..

Once inside I went straight to my favorite place in Quinn's apartment that was her comfy couch that I loved to sleep, relax, read, cuddle with Quinn or having sex with Quinn.. It was the best couch.. And I must admit that I liked the sent of Quinn that her pillow had.. Guilty..

Quinn came handing me a cup of tea and sat right next to me looking at me.. It was a different look but yet so welcoming..

"What?"

"Nothing.."

"You are looking at me differently.."

"How so?"

"I don't know.. Its just different.."

"I love you.."

"I love you too.. Quinn, tell me.. What is it?"

She putted her cup down and she took mine from my hands as well.. Then she started slowly coming to me with her hands on each of my sides, standing on top of me.. Her leg between mine.. Her hair falling down on her shoulders and she was looking at me with those eyes that was melting my heart every time she was looking at me.. She started caressing my face and I couldn't help but close my eyes to her touch and let myself enjoy every bit.. My lips were getting dry and like she knew she leaned close and gave me a full mouth kiss that made me ask for more.. Her tongue licking my bottom lip so seductively and I could already feel my legs trembling.. It was what she was doing to me..

"You are an amazing sexy woman Rachel Berry.." she said whispering to my ear and all my senses started to get more strong..

I could smell her perfume, I could taste her lip gloss on my lips, I could touch her perfect abs under her shirt, I could look to her dark hazel eyes.. I could hear her sexy raspy voice telling me what she was planning to do to me.. I just wanted to make her mine once more.. I couldn't get enough of her..

I turned us over and I was now on top of her savoring her.. I lifted her shirt and started kissing her abs and I could feel her tensing under my kisses.. Every time letting my bottom lip stay a little bit longer.. She was wearing too many clothes and I wasn't planning to let her stay dressed for long.. I lifted her and took off her shirt while taking a second to look at her.. The sun getting inside from the window and touching her skin made her look so beautiful.. Like a goddess.. She was my goddess.. Leaning closer I kissed her lips, and bite her lip and her moaning into my mouth sent chills down to my core.. No one of us were talking.. We didn't have to.. Our bodies were synchronized to this beautiful feeling that called love, lust, want and need.. It was everything..

We made love to that couch and we stayed in each others arms after.. That's what I loved being with her.. There was no rush, there was no need to run, instead there was this need to be next to her, to still feel her after making love to her for an hour.. To caress her arm and look at her eyes.. I don't believe there was a more beautiful thing that this.. To be in your lover's arms.. To hear closely to their heart beating..

"Rach.."

"Mmm.."

"You need to get ready.. Your show will start in two hours.."

"I know.. But I want to stay here with you.."

"I wish you could.. But you have to be up to that stage and sing your heart to these people.."

"What if I want to sing my heart to you?"

"Then I would be the luckiest girl.. But for now you need to get ready.."

"Will you come with me tonight?"

"If you are sure, I wouldn't mind.. I don't have anything to do.."

"Perfect.." I said with a big smile.. I really wanted her there with me.. She made everything better.. "I am going to get ready.. Are you up for a joined shower?"

"You didn't have to ask.."

No.. We didn't do anything to that shower.. Not because I didn't want to but I really needed to get ready if I wanted to be on time.. And once we were both dressed we took a cab and we went to the theatre..

Of course there were cameras outside the theatre and that's why I decided for us to go from the back door.. There was no one there.. We got inside and the first people I saw was Santana and Brittany.. They both looked at us and I was waiting for Santana to say something like she always did.. But this time I didn't expect to what she was ready to say..

"Berry.." she said while coming closer and closer to me.. I sensed Quinn being defensive but I stopped her with a light touch on her arm.. "I suppose this is your girl right?"

"Yes, she is.. Quinn, this is Santana.. One of my cast mates.." Quinn didn't say anything.. She just kept looking, throwing daggers at her I am sure.. The fact is that Quinn already knew about Santana and she didn't like her at all..

"Hi, Quinn.. I am Brittany.. I am one of Rachel's cast mates as well.." Britanny said being all polite..

"Nice to meet you Brittany.." Quinn answered with the same tone..

"Berry, I must say that I didn't expect this from you.."

"What exactly Santana?"

"Outing yourself.. You surprised me.."

"And why is that?"

"Because that needs a lot of courage and to actually be human.. I never believed you were one.."

"Thanks.. I guess.." she then looked at Quinn and said with a smirk

"See ya blondie.. Let's go B.."

"What was that all about?" Quinn said once they left..

"This was Santana and Brittany.. And what you just witnessed was Santana being the nicest to me than ever.."

"If she hurts you I promise I will…"

"Its ok.. Santana is like a dog who barks but not bites.. I don't like her.. That's for sure.. But I believe that there is something more about her.. But anyway.. I have to go and get ready.. Come with me?"

"Of course.."

For one more time I had to play 'funny girl' with a success.. And for the first time I felt lighter than ever.. Everything was finding their way and sure I was finding myself being more and more in love with Quinn..

**TBC**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys and sorry for not updating this story for so long.. The only excuse i have is that i just didnt feel like writing.. So this is the last chapter.. Sorry for the long await..**

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><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

_Two years later_

You never know what life will bring.. You hope, you wish, you wonder but at the end something will surprise you gladly or hurt you deeply.. That is life or c'est la vie as French people say..

Up until now I had a wonderful life.. I had two great parents, I had a successful career, I never had too many friends to begin with nor too many relationships but I did fall in love and I managed to keep one relationship that was true.. Quinn.. She was definitely the girl for me.. And that is what is called unexpected.. Because I never thought I was gay but yet I fell in love with a girl.. And that girl made me happier than I ever was in my life..

Broadway was always my dream.. Since I was young I remember I wanted to finish school and go to New York and be a Broadway star.. I wanted to sing and I wanted this to be my job forever.. But things change.. Sometimes for the best and sometimes for the worst.. And for me changed for the best..

Funny girl was my most successful role.. The most amazing thing was when Barbara Streisand herself came to see our play.. To say that I wasn't anxious it would be such a lie.. The moment I heard that she was in the theatre I couldn't even breathe.. It was our last day.. The closing of a very well directed play that had amazing critics.. So I put myself together with the help of Quinn's of course and I went out there and to do the only thing I knew I was good at.. Be myself..

After that I had so many proposes for other plays, movies and albums.. Interviews, photoshoots, talking shows.. I was on the peak of my career.. It was now or never.. I wouldn't be young forever.. But.. There was this but.. There was Quinn.. And if I chose all that I wouldn't be able to be around Quinn..

She was around every time I would get a phone call for another play or interview or something.. And every time I would look at her while talking with my manager.. She always said that what she loved about me was my passion for my job and that she loved seeing me playing.. She was one of my biggest fans.. But after being with me for so long and seeing how my life was I was starting to believe that she hated my job because it was taking me away from her.. As much as I was trying to keep everything balanced unfortunately it came to the point that I was spending more time with everything else than with her.. We fought a couple of times but then we were making up but I could see that it was tiring her.. And I didn't want to lose the best thing that ever happened to my life..

One day I sat her down and I told her that we needed to talk.. When I saw her face I knew that she thought that I wanted to break up with her.. And I would never do that.. Because without her I would be lost and she was the only person who could find me..

We sat down and I told her about what I was thinking.. I wouldn't quit my job but I promised to her that I would try not to do everything at the same period.. I promised her that I would be more around and that I was sorry if I was an ass.. And her answer was just a kiss on my lips.. A soft kiss from the ones I loved.. The ones that were making me fall in love with her again and again just by touching her lips on mine..

Being a careerista in a loving relationship with a girl who was a choreographer and us being one of the hottest couples in town as the tabloids said didn't make our life easier.. Instead it made it more difficult.. If I didn't trust Quinn and Quinn didn't trust me we would have broken up a long time ago.. They said I was cheating Quinn other times with girls and other times with boys that were co workers.. Every time they would see me with another person that wasn't Quinn they would take pics of me and the next day I would be on the first covers of tabloids.. And it didn't help with my relationship with Quinn at all.. Yes, there was trust between us but sometimes I am sure she was wondering if that was true.. And that hurt me every time..

A year ago we got close to break up..

It was the time I wasn't around much and I was hanging a lot with a guy from my play.. He was gay but not out and he found a person that he could talk to in me.. He was gorgeous.. Like a model.. A greek god.. No one knew for his personal life and he asked me not to say anything to anyone.. So of course pictures of us were taken more than one times.. And Quinn had to see them every day.. I reassured her that there was nothing between me and him but it was a tough period for both of us.. That day she left the house without talking to me and I didn't chase her back because I was tired from all this as well.. For two days we weren't talking to each other and I went to stay with Brody.. I was pissed at her actually for not trusting me enough and that actually made me angry..

The day that I decided to go back home and find her and say I was sorry I found her outside Brody's home.. From her face its like I could hear her thoughts.. She just looked at me and she turned her back on me and she walked away.. But this time I did chase her.. I wouldn't let her leave like that.. Especially without me explaining to her..

Once I caught her I had to fight for her to stop and hear me.. And it wasn't an easy task.. I didn't have the time to start from the beginning so I just told her that Brody was gay.. I let it slip from my lips like that.. Without holding back.. I knew it was something I shouldn't have said since it wasn't my secret to tell but I had to save my relationship as well.. Once I told her about Brody she laughed.. She laughed so hard that she had tears in her eyes.. I was confused because I didn't expect that reaction but yet it was a better reaction than her yelling at me or trying to run again..

"_I am such an idiot.. Oh god.. How much of an idiot I am.." she was mumbling to herself_

"_Quinn.. Are you ok?"_

"_Yeah, sure.. I was jealous of a gay guy.. I was jealous.. Who.. Me.. I was never jealous in my whole life but look at me now.. I am like a school girl.." she said not looking at me.._

"_Its ok.. I can be jealous too.. And I have been you know.. A lot actually.. Especially with your looks and all the guys who pretty much are drooling all over you.. Yeah.. At least Brody is gay"_

"_Rachel.. You have nothing to worry about.. I am all yours"_

"_And that's what I have been trying to tell you all this long.. That I am all yours too.. I don't want anyone else but you Quinn.. Simple as that.. And I want you to understand that.."_

"_Can you come home? I missed you.."_

"_I was ready to come home.. And I missed you too.."_

Relationships are not easy.. Especially when you care about the other person a lot.. And if you do care a lot you try to make up after a long fight and you discuss it.. That's what I learned being with Quinn.. And I love her for that..

"Where is your mind travelling again?"

"Nowhere really.. Just thinking of us.."

"Mmm.. And what are you thinking about?"

"How lucky I am that I found you.."

"That makes both of us Rach.."

We were laying in our bed after making love to each other for an hour.. What I loved being with Quinn is that not everything had to do with sex.. I could just lay with her in bed, close enough to listen to her heart and that would be enough.. It was the need I had to always touch her.. Be near her..

"What time we have to get up?"

"Mmm.. We don't have to get up at all"

"But don't you have to go for rehearsal?" I started coughing but she knew it was fake and she smiled.. "Rachel.. We both know you are not sick"

"Yes.. But they don't.. Soooo.. Where were we?" I leaned to kiss her lips but she stopped me before I reach them..

"Rachel Barbara Berry.. Did you fake being sick?"

"Maybe?"

"I would never expect that from you"

"Don't you like me being spontaneous?"

"Oh.. I love it.." and she kissed me back with so much love..

Years ago I went to a bar thinking it was a bar but yet it was a strip club.. In that club I found the love of my life and she made me a better person just being with her.. Now I just hope for more years to come and for us to be a family.. A bigger one.. You know.. Sssss.. Its just only a thought but it still exists in my mind…

**THE END**


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